When you have a baby there is a profound shift in the way you view the world. You can’t explain it, but it happens. Consequently, some things start to change in your life. One of those things is your circle of friends. Your relationships with your childless friends can sometimes become strained. And it’s not hard to see why. They don’t get your new obsession with spit up and baby poop. You no longer have free time to hang out. And your phone conversations are inevitably interrupted by shrieking cries of hunger or exhaustion. Many of your old acquaintances will fall to the wayside. And although you will have a few tried and true friends who will stick by you, you may still long for a different kind of friend. You may want one whom you can ask about strange rashes and breast-feeding techniques, a fellow mommy friend.
Befriending other moms is not as easy as it might seem. In fact one of the most common gripes among new moms is that they just can’t seem to meet other moms. If you think about it, it makes sense. How did you find your best friend? You probably met in school or at work or through a shared interest. After you have a baby, you tend to be wrapped in a bubble of germ protection and baby care. You don’t really get a chance to meet many new people, moms or otherwise.
A common technique among new moms is to go to the park. You look for another mom with a baby about your baby’s age. This situation can feel a lot like picking someone up in a bar. You don’t want to come on too strong. You aren’t sure if you should ask for their number. And unless your kids start playing together and you can strike up conversation that way, it can be awkward. Besides, you don’t even know if you have anything in common or if she is the kind of friend you are looking for.
A better way to meet people is to take a cue from your pre-baby days. Get involved. There are many different groups for all kinds of different moms. Check out Yahoo! Groups or www.meetup.com. Whether you’re into attached parenting or scrap booking, you are sure to find some other moms with common interests. You can also volunteer at your church or local nonprofit organizations to meet other moms with similar beliefs.
There will always be friends in your life that are irreplaceable, whether you have kids at the same time or not. Getting involved in your new kid-friendly interests might just help you make a few more.
