Toddler Melt-Down in Public, What Do I Do?

By Amber Ortega on April 2nd, 2009

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Anyone with a toddler knows the embarrassment when they have a melt down in the middle of Wal-Mart.  My melt downs normally start as soon as we walk in because he doesn’t want to have to sit in the basket.  He feels he’s a big boy and can walk, but if I let him walk then he runs off and hides in the clothing racks…thus becoming that annoying kid in the store.  So what is the best way to handle a two-year-old melt down like this?

There are a few ways to handle the situation, you can (a) ignore it (b) discipline them right then and there (c) leave the store.  If you choose (a) and ignore the situation you will get dirty looks from everyone in the store, normally those without kids or their kids are too old for them to remember what a two-year-old is like.  It becomes even more embarrassing and makes your trip for milk and eggs the longest trip e-v-e-r!  If you choose (b) and discipline them right there you will have people looking at you and telling you that you are a bad parent and shouldn’t be allowed to have kids.  I actually had this happen when my oldest was two and was doing everything he could to press my buttons, he started yelling and screaming at me and I swatted him on the butt, wow, was that a mistake!  Again, I believe this happens primarily from people that do not have kids.  When I see kids having a melt down in the store,  I give a chuckle and look at the parents with a sympathetic look, because I know that could easily be any one of my children next time.  If you choose (c) and leave the store,  your child basically wins and you don’t get what you needed from the store.  So what is the best way to handle this situation?

I do a mixture of everything.  I firmly tell my son that I know he’s a big boy but can not walk right now.  I let him know that if he can be good and sit down for awhile I will let him up to walk.  This normally leads to a crying fit, at which time I ignore the crying go on with my business.  If I notice people looking at me, I will calmly tell him that if he could be a big boy and quit crying he would be able to walk, but for now he must sit down because he is acting like a baby.  I then try to distract him by showing him things in the store, asking what color something is or whatever.  You’d be amazed at how asking animal sounds can distract a kid and keep their mind moving.  Will this work every time?  Of course not, kids will be kids.  If it gets to be too much for you to handle, take a breathe, count to 10 and if your still about to lose your cool, it might be best to stop shopping and get out of there.  I have had days where I had to leave, even though I really needed something at the store.  I went to the car, buckled in the kids and just cried.  Yes, when you have three kids all acting up at the same time and you are trying to keep your cool, you can easily get to the point of tears.  But it is okay, this will get better and you just have to remember that you are in charge and will not allow them to act like that in public.