Reasoning with a toddler is a frustrating experience. But it is even more frustrating to be in that toddler’s shoes. They are developing new skills and discovering new things everyday, but they can’t effectively communicate what they want or how they feel. And on top of that they are bombarded with an avalanche of emotion that they don’t understand and certainly can’t control. It is no wonder tantrums are a common occurrence. Most parents want to have a loving, nurturing relationship with their young one. But with a communication barrier between you how can you meet your child’s emotional needs?
Get on the Same Wave Length
Understand what your child wants. Nine times out of ten a toddler just wants to explore and experiment with new things. They want to learn about everything. So the easiest course of action is to teach them. If they are headed for your pots and pans, show them how they feel and what kind of sounds they make. However, if they are heading for the kitchen stove, stop them and tell them it is dangerous and can be hot. If they start to cry, the best thing you can do is to echo their feelings. This way they know you are listening. The main reason a toddler screams is not defiance. It is to be heard. They want to know that you understand what they want. Repeating their words back to them is the best way to achieve this. If they can’t talk yet, say what they seem be after. In this instance you could say, “you want to touch the stove?” a few times. Usually they will nod their head. Sometime it is enough that you recognized what they wanted and they will calm down. If not, calmly explain that a stove can be hot and it will hurt them.
Watch Your Tone and Your Emphasis
Toddler take most of their cues from you. If they hear frustration or anger in your voice, their behavior will quickly escalate to that level. And if they see how much you seem to value that strand of pearls your husband gave you, suddenly it is pretty interesting to them too. In Contrast, if you keep calm and collected your baby will be calmer. And if you shrug off that strand of pearls as if it were a piece of lint, your toddler will be more apt to forget about it too.
Distract, Distract, Distract
Some tantrums are inevitable. A glass vase might be too shiny to resist. And no amount of calm emotion recognition is going take their attention off of it. The best thing to do here is to find something safe and equally as mesmerizing to take their mind off it. You can pull out their favorite toy or switch on their favorite TV show. At this age, you can even start dancing and making funny noises and it will be interesting enough for them to stop and watch.
Interacting with your toddler doesn’t have to be an unpleasant experience. In fact, it can be the best part of your day as you watch them learn and explore. And it can also be a great opportunity to teach them how to express their feelings effectively.
Comments
No comments.