I read a post on MomLogic this morning titled “Memo to the World: Black Mothers Matter Too!” In it, Kimberly Seals Allers asserts that “there’s a dominant mommy culture in this country and its face is mostly white and affluent.” The comments are many and vehement. You see cattiness at it best (well, worst). Race is still an issue in America, even though President Obama now brings mixed races to the White House.
I have to concede that I agree with her. Ms. Allers says, “we [black mothers] are often overlooked in all the great mommy debates.” My contention is this: Am I the only mom that’s agitated that black mothers aren’t the only ones left out? Even here at KidGlue, where we have fantastic articles about everything parenting-related under the sun, our photos tend to portray white, affluent moms. (Photo guys, here’s your hint.)
What about Islanders? Their skin color may look the same as black moms, but the culture is different. Let’s look at Polynesian moms, Indian moms, Asian moms, Latina moms. Even European and Canadian moms approach parenting differently than their American counterparts, even though they look the same. A lot of moms are left out of the “[American] white is better, smarter, etc” policy here. The key word in all of these descriptions? Mom. This isn’t just black and white. This is a failure to look beyond our own noses – no matter what color they are.
Oh, and I’m a fair-skinned mom of European and Native-American descent, since everyone’s so concerned about skin tone. Not that it matters. It doesn’t. Well, it shouldn’t. That’s the point.
Here’s an idea – approach a mom that looks or acts differently than you and get to know her as a woman. Ask her what she thinks. Ask her how she does things. Respect her. Learn from her. Love her. Then introduce someone else that looks like you to her. It’s the only way we’ll ever get past this.
