What Is Attachment Parenting?

By Bonnie Owens on April 14th, 2009

• Share
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 2 Comments

As a new parent I frequently heard the term “attachment parenting” or AP.  I heard moms describe themselves as AP minded.  Several people told me that they thought I would fit in well with their AP groups.  All of this left me to wonder what is this attached parenting all about?  What does it mean?  And why are so many moms so passionate about it?  Here are the seven principals that define the attached parenting lifestyle.

1.  Early bonding  The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold.  The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another.  A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, care giving qualities of the mother to come together.  Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture.
2. Breastfeeding  Breastfeeding is an exercise in baby reading.  Breastfeeding helps you read your baby’s cues, their body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby.  Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life.  Breast Milk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought.  Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost. 
3. Baby wearing  A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Baby wearing improves the sensitivity of the parents. Because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity.
4. Bedding close to baby  Wherever all family members get the best night’s sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family.  Co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night.  Since nighttime is scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps baby learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.
5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry  A baby’s cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents.  Responding sensitively to your baby’s cries builds trust.  Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs.  Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby’s needs.  This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch.  Tiny babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate.
6. Beware of baby trainers  Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd.   This “convenience” parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment.  These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.
7. Balance  In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it’s easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage.  As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no,” and having the wisdom to say “yes” to yourself when you need help.

(Photo By: Joris D and Alwyck)