Have you ever watched your child working on a complex task, such as building something with LEGOs, only to see her growl and stamp her foot with frustration? Or, when told he cannot have or do something, your child turns around and walks out of the room, refusing to be called back? Chances are you and your partner have seen those behaviors before … in each other.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we ourselves are our children’s first source of mimicry. After all, we are the people they spend the majority of their time with, so it’s only natural they should start to pick up on our behaviors and try to emulate them — this is a process of learning called Modeling. Kids model their behavior on yours, and it’s important to stress this: you never know when they’re watching you.
The way you eat, the way you talk to your partner, the way you manage your own frustrations, these are all behaviors that you might think of as being tools that your child will see you use to navigate through life. This can be even more powerful than trying to influence your child’s behavior by direct conversation; actions do speak louder than words.
Fortunately, this modeling works for both good and ill. While you may see your own negative behavior being displayed by your child, you’ll also likely see positive actions as well. Even little things, like the way you stretch your hands out before picking up utensils to eat, you might see your child doing as well. And while you might see this as somewhat restrictive, preventing you from being able to relax around the scrutiny of your child, you might instead try to use this as an opportunity for self-growth. Think of the sort of behaviors you’d like to see your child committing, and start to do those behaviors yourself. For if they’re worthy of your offspring, they’re worthy of you as well.
