Stop Child Abuse

By Bonnie Owens on April 30th, 2009

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In the USA, an estimated 906,000 children are victims of abuse and neglect every year, making child abuse as common as it is shocking.  Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, sexual, or neglect, the scars can be deep and long-lasting, often leading to future child abuse.  You don’t want to report a false case, but even more importantly you don’t want to ignore a real case.  So how do you know when to report and when to mind your own business?  Here is a list of warning signs and what you can do to get abused children AND their parents help.

Physical Abuse.  Many physically abusive parents and caregivers insist that their actions are simply forms of discipline.  But there’s a big difference between giving an unmanageable child a swat on the backside and twisting the child’s arm until it breaks.   Here are some warning signs:

• Physical signs. Sometimes physical abuse has clear warning signs, such as unexplained bruises, welts, or cuts.  While all children will take a tumble now and then, look for age-inappropriate injuries, injuries that appear to have a pattern such as marks from a hand or belt, or a pattern of severe injuries.
• Behavioral signs. Other times, signs of physical abuse may be more subtle.  The child may be fearful, shy away from touch or appear to be afraid to go home. 
• Caregiver signs.  Physically abusive caregivers may display anger management issues and excessive need for control.  Their explanation of the injury might not ring true, or may be different from an older child’s description of the injury.

Emotional Abuse.   Emotional child abuse may seem invisible.  However, because emotional child abuse involves behavior that interferes with a child’s mental health or social development, the effects can be extremely damaging and may even leave deeper lifelong psychological scars than physical abuse.  Emotional child abuse takes many forms, in words and in actions.   Words can hurt by belittling, shaming, and humiliating a child, calling names and making negative comparisons to others, or constantly telling a child he or she is “no good,” “worthless,” “bad,” or “a mistake.” How the words are spoken can be terrifying to a child as well, such as yelling, threatening, or bullying.  Actions include ignoring or rejecting a child.  Another strong component of emotional abuse is exposing the child to inappropriate situations.  Here are some warning signs:

• Behavioral signs.  Since emotional child abuse does not leave concrete marks, the effects may be harder to detect.  Is the child excessively shy, fearful or afraid of doing something wrong?  Behavioral extremes may also be a clue.  A child may be constantly trying to parent other children for example, or on the opposite side exhibit antisocial behavior such as uncontrolled aggression.  Look for inappropriate age behaviors as well, such as an older child exhibiting behaviors more commonly found in younger children.
• Caregiver signs. Does a caregiver seem unusually harsh and critical of a child, belittling and shaming him or her in front of others?  Has the caregiver shown anger or issues with control in other areas?  A caregiver may also seem strangely unconcerned with a child’s welfare or performance.  Keep in mind that there might not be immediate caregiver signs.  Tragically, many emotionally abusive caregivers can present a kind outside face to the world, making the abuse of the child all the more confusing and scary.

Sexual Abuse.  Sexual abuse, defined as any sexual act between an adult and a child, has components of both physical and emotional abuse.  Sexual abuse can be physical, such as inappropriate fondling and touching.  It can also be emotionally abusive, as in cases where a child is forced to undress or exposing a child to adult sexuality.  Aside from the physical damage that sexual abuse can cause, the emotional component is powerful and far reaching.  The layer of shame that accompanies sexual abuse makes the behavior doubly traumatizing.  Children may worry that others won’t believe them and will be angry with them if they tell.  They may believe that the abuse is their fault.  Here are some warning signs:

• Behavioral signs.  Does the child display knowledge or interest in sexual acts inappropriate to his or her age?  A child might appear to avoid another person, or display unusual behavior- either being very aggressive or very passive.  Older children might resort to destructive behaviors to take away the pain, such as alcohol or drug abuse, self-mutilation, or suicide attempts.
• Physical signs.  A child may have trouble sitting or standing, or have stained, bloody or torn underclothes.  Swelling, bruises, or bleeding in the genital area is a red flag.  An STD or pregnancy, especially under the age of 14, is a strong cause of concern.
• Caregiver signs. The caregiver may seem to be unusually controlling and protective of the child, limiting contact with other children and adults.  Again, as with other types of abuse, sometimes the caregiver does not give outward signs of concern.  This does not mean the child is lying or exaggerating.

Neglect.  Child neglect is the most frequent form of child abuse.  Neglect is a pattern of failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, endangering a child’s physical and psychological well-being.  Child neglect is not always deliberate.  Sometimes, a caregiver becomes physically or mentally unable to care for a child, such as in untreated depression or anxiety.  Other times, alcohol or drug abuse may seriously impair judgment and the ability to keep a child safe.  The end result, however, is a child who is not getting their physical and/or emotional needs met.   Here are some warning signs:

• Physical signs. A child may consistently be dressed inappropriately for the weather, or have ill-fitting, dirty clothes and shoes.  They might appear to have consistently bad hygiene, like appearing very dirty, matted and unwashed hair, or noticeable body odor.  Another warning sign is untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
• Behavioral signs. Does the child seem to be unsupervised? School children may be frequently late or tardy.  The child might show troublesome, disruptive behavior or be withdrawn and passive.
• Caregiver signs. Does the caregiver have problems with drugs or alcohol?  While most of us have a little clutter in the home, is the caregiver’s home filthy and unsanitary?  Is there adequate food in the house?  A caregiver might also show reckless disregard for the child’s safety, letting older children play unsupervised or leaving a baby unattended.  A caregiver might refuse or delay necessary health care for the child.

When A Child Reports Abuse

You may feel overwhelmed and confused if a child begins talking to you about abuse.  It is a difficult subject and hard to accept, and you might not know what to say.  The best help you can provide is calm, unconditional support and reassurance.  Let your actions speak for you if you are having trouble finding the words.  Remember that it is a tremendous act of courage for children to come forward about abuse.  They might have been told specifically not to tell, and may even feel that the abuse is normal.  They might feel they are to blame for the abuse.  

• Avoid denial and remain calm.  A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial.  However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down.  As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
• Don’t interrogate. Let the child explain to you in his/her own words what happened, but don’t interrogate the child or ask leading questions.  This may confuse and fluster the child and make it harder for them to continue their story.
• Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong.  It takes a lot for a child to come forward about abuse.  Reassure him or her that you take what is said seriously, and that it is not the child’s fault.

How To Report Abuse

Many people are reluctant to get involved in other families’ lives.  However, by reporting, you can make a tremendous difference in the life of a child and the child’s family, especially if you help stop the abuse early.  Early identification and treatment can help mitigate the long-term effects of abuse.  If the abuse is stopped and the child receives competent treatment, the abused child can begin to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust.  Some parents may also benefit from support, parent training and anger management.  Here are some helpful resources:

If you suspect a child is in immediate danger contact law enforcement as soon as possible.

• To get help in the U.S., call:
  1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) – Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

To get help for child sexual abuse, call:

• 1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) – Stop It Now
• 1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Websites

• www.childabuse.com
• www.childwelfare.gov

(Photo By: Tina Keller)