I’ve never seen the reality television show “Jon and Kate Plus 8″, and after reading this post, I never want to. There are several reasons for this, each of which you’re free to disagree with.
First, I’ve always found even documentary-style shows about families somewhat uncomfortably revealing. I’m the kind of parent who can’t help but be judgmental of other parents’ styles both against them and against myself. So watching a show that gets in close and intimate about every day matters like potty training or discipline is sort of the equivalent of passing a bad car accident — I fear to look, yet can’t seem to turn away. Those behaviors that I perceive to be good that I also practice I find myself feeling absurdly proud to see in others, and those behaviors that I acknowledge as harmful to children that I try to avoid committing I become helplessly angry at observing in others. This makes for an unsettling back-and-forth emotional roller coaster, that invariably leaves me feeling like an unfit parent in many ways.
Second, I always marvel at people’s willingness to display their naked lives on television. Personally, I don’t like being grilled by anyone other than close friends and family, so you’d never catch me offering the world a look at my home life. What is it about television that’s meant to be so alluring? Is it thrilling to have your every action and utterance dissected by the public audience, both ignorant and learned?
Third, I don’t necessarily believe that the point of a show like “Jon and Kate” offers anything other than a negatively voyeuristic experience. I’m willing to admit that there may possibly be an educational experience to be had in fleeting moments, but those would have to be in the minority — for the most part, families everywhere go through the same routines: feeding, cleaning, shopping, socializing, education, etc. If you’re watching a reality show for tips, there are better, more responsible resources.
Finally, I worry about the effect on the children that being under close scrutiny engenders. There is a long list of child stars who went on to become notorious for criminal behavior after the passing of their fame. It’s rare that these kids grow up free of issues of some sort, and a great deal of these issues revolve around being the center of attention at an early stage of development — once that attention dwindles, is there anything left to replace it?
There are no easy answers to any of these considerations, and your experience will likely differ from mine. I’ll ask directly: do you find reality television shows about families helpful or harmful?
