Barack Obama’s Imperfect Father’s Day

By Akela Talamasca on June 19th, 2009

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Barack Obama has written a letter to his daughters to be published in the upcoming Parade magazine, in which he is openly critical of his own fatherly shortcomings. “I know I have been an imperfect father. I know I have made mistakes,” he writes, spurred by the approaching Father’s Day, and a desire to avoid repeating the experience he endured by not having his father in his life.

He goes on to challenge other fathers: “We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one.”

This dovetails with my own experience, having been raised by my mother and grandparents on my mother’s side, just as Obama was. Although I’d never made the connection before this, Obama was also raised in Hawai’i, just as I was, where multi-generational households are more common than not. I know the disadvantages of not having a strong male figure in one’s life, and they can turn out to be extensive in ways you won’t appreciate until you begin to raise a son of your own.

And just like Obama, I swore to my son on the day of his birth that I would never leave him, would never make him ashamed to be my son, would do my best to make sure he has as much stability and security as I never felt growing up. Fathers of the world, if you’re reading this, compare your behavior to that of your own father’s. Discover where you fall short, and where you excel. Identify the areas in which you need improvement, but don’t berate yourself for needing that improvement. Remember that your son looks to you to be the role model for going through life. Show him how to succeed, to be kind, generous, strong, and loving. Raise the kind of man you yourself would want to be. The world deserves no less.