Embrace Your Parental Differences

Mothers and fathers often approach discipline differently – not better or worse, just differently.  If used correctly, this difference is good for kids. Moms and dads discipline styles should complement each other rather than compete with each other.  The key is to strive for balance between the two.

When toddlers begin to explore their environment, fathers tend to be the encourager and mothers tend to be the protector.  Dad will yell ”climb higher.”  While mom adds “be careful.”  When your toddler wakes up at night, again; dad suggests letting her cry it out, while mom goes in to comfort her.  Dads encourage independence and moms ease fears.  Mothers delve into their children’s feelings, trying to understand their child’s viewpoint.  When a child has a problem, moms are geared toward understanding the process that led to the problem; dads want to rush in and fix it.  Mothers tend to repeat themselves again and again; fathers are more concerned with results, use fewer words in discipline requests, and are quicker to pull rank when psychology isn’t working.  In some families these roles may be reversed.  

Some couples are aware of these differences and work hard to make them an asset to their family.  They realize that they need each other’s balance, as do their children.  When a situation arises where you disagree on what course of action to take, a compromise between your two views is often the right approach.  That way your child will get the discipline that dad knows is necessary coupled with love and compassion mom knows is needed as well.