When you’re a parent, especially in the early years of your child’s life, there are numerous opportunities for you and your partner to get into arguments. You’ll both experience some new frustrations — why doesn’t he understand? Why can’t she give me a break? When it comes to child-raising, each partner will likely have their own opinions on what’s best, regardless of what that book the other person is reading might say. Communication at this stage is both challenging and completely necessary. After all, if you don’t present a unified front to your child, she’ll sense it, and that could hurt the family in the long run.
So, to help give the moms in our audience a little insight into what might be going on in a typical daddy’s brain, I present “Father Thinks He Knows Best” — a look into what exactly the pater is thinking and feeling. Obviously, every man is different, so what you’ll read here won’t cover everyone, but there will be something here you’ll recognize.
Let’s start right at the beginning: pregnancy. Chances are, your mate will fall into one of two categories: constantly solicitous, or annoyingly clueless — at least, that’s what the media would have you believe. The reality is more likely to be a mix of the two. It may seem a cliché to hear this, but men and women are different biologically, so some differences in temperament are bound to occur. What may seem obvious to you simply won’t be to him; he’s just wired to approach certain situations differently. And where biology doesn’t cover it, the way his father raised him will take care of the difference.
So: where you’re likely to complain about how the baby is squishing your internal organs, hoping that he’ll offer some sympathy (after all, sometimes it helps just to get these things off your chest, so to speak), he’ll likely relate some story about undergoing foot surgery, and how, even though he was in constant agony, he sucked it up and bore it, never once complaining. Boys are always being told to be tough, stop whining, walk it off, take it like a man, etc., and this is something he’s likely to have taken into adulthood. There’s little likelihood that he’s going to be able to appreciate exactly what you’re feeling, so don’t feel too hurt when he doesn’t respond as you’d wish. Instead, try to focus on what will help alleviate your various pains, and give Daddy-To-Be some tasks he can complete. Most men like to feel useful, and clearly-defined goals that they can accomplish — especially if he doesn’t know how to help you with your discomfort — will help the two of you bond over the gestation period.
Whoo … there’s a lot to cover here. Keep your eyes peeled for the next installment of “Father Thinks He Knows Best”!
