Parents, do like movies such as “Apocalypse Now,” “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” “Die Hard,” “Scarface,” “The Breakfast Club” and “The Wizard of Oz?” If the answer is “Yes,” then you will find at least seven times to smile when, or more likely if, you take your kids to see “G-Force.”
Seeing computer generated guinea pigs deliver the most obvious lines from those movies exemplifies the kind of mild amusement found in the country’s current number one film. It’s also the kind of lazy attempt a filmmaker makes when he knows parents are going to be bored stiff in a movie.
Besides the fact that it’s boring, there’s nothing exactly wrong with “G-Force.” As a pure act of escapism for your children, you could do worse. However, when absolutely nothing about the movie is objectionable, nothing about the movie is particularly entertaining or interesting either.
First, let’s all agree that the premise is a winner. The FBI has secretly funded a group of highly trained Guinea Pigs. Cool. However, the movie almost literally stays on that note for the entire running time. Sure there’s a story – funding is lost, animals get put into the public, they escape and save the day – but there is so little drama or suspense the whole way though, that this incredible technology is wasted. The film feels uneventful. Even in 3D doesn’t help.
The action isn’t anything that hasn’t been done before, albeit it with humans or maybe in something like “Beethoven,” and there is very little comedy. A fart joke here, a movie reference there and the film just keeps prodding on. It’s almost as if no one put any passion into this thing whatsoever. Even hilarious comedic actors Zack Galifianakis and Will Arnett literally do not have one funny line BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM. Why cast these guys if they are just going to stand on the screen and serve as plot devices?
One might think these kind of complaints are a little too mature for a child. That a child won’t care as long as there are explosions and guinea pig spies. I disagree. In the screening I saw, the film began with raucous screaming and, by the time the credits rolled, was met with a smattering of applause. Kids might not know why they love a movie, but they can tell when they haven’t been engaged. And “G-Force” is not engaging.
But maybe your kids like it and maybe you are forced to watch the DVD over and over. If that’s the case, wait for those classic movie quotes and then put yourself in the mind set of watching those movies. “G-Force” can’t begin to compare to five minutes of any one of them.
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