Michael Jackson’s Homicide Opens Doors of Communication

By Amber Ortega on August 25th, 2009

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Every day when the news comes on, there is a story about Michael Jackson’s death.  My kids didn’t have any idea who he was…until I played some of his music.  Of course after figuring out who he was, the questions began.  Why did he die?  How did he die?  Did somebody kill him?  What about his kids?  Where are his kids going to live?  Who is going to take care of them?  Having a range of children from 3 to 8 years old, I had to carefully answer all of these questions.

I originally explained to my children that he had been very sick and his body couldn’t handle all of the medicine he was taking.  I said he passed on and is now living in heaven so he will not be sick anymore.  They seemed okay with this, especially the six-year-old.  But she was worried about his children.  She cried talking about how sad she would be if her parents died.  I explained that the kids will be sad because their father has passed away, but luckily they have good family they are going to live with and will take good care of them.

As time passed, all of their questions seemed to be answered, although I knew the story was still on their minds because they would drop little comments here and there.  It was amazing how, out of nowhere, my daughter would say “I wonder how Michael Jackson’s kids are doing,” when nothing the stories on television had seemed to slow down. Then it on August 24 the news came out that his death was a homicide.  That opened a whole new slew of questions.

My kids aren’t old enough to understand what a homicide is, so I had to choose my wording carefully.  After fully reading the complete story on The Washington Post, I began to explain to my kids what was going on.  I am a firm believer in not sheltering my children too much, but keeping things at their level and explaining at what they can and should understand.

I explained that he was having problems sleeping, was taking medicine to help him, but it wasn’t good for him.  At this point, my son asked, ‘Why didn’t he just have some of the sleepy tea that you give me?’  I repled that it wasn’t working, so he had to take a really strong medicine to make him sleep.  His body didn’t like that he was taking so much medicine and it made his insides quit working.  Of course then I am asked about Tylenol and the stuff I give them. I explained they are totally different and the doctor told us it is okay for them to take that kind of medicine. Michael’s doctor told him it wasn’t safe to keep taking the strong medicine, but he kept taking it anyway.  The doctor kept giving him the medicine because Michael Jackson wanted it and now the doctor is in trouble.

My kids were still a little confused, but were happy that they kind of understood what was going on.  As they have questions, I will continue to answer in this manner as it seems to work.

The whole situation also helped me tie into a whole different point: that even if someone tells you to do something, doing it doesn’t mean you won’t get in trouble.  For example, if Joey on the playground tells you to throw dirt at the girls, you know it is wrong.  If he keeps telling you to do it and you give in because he keeps asking you, who is going to get in trouble?  The person throwing the dirt.  Even if you tell the duty teacher that Joey told you to do it, that won’t change a thing, you will still be in trouble.  So the doctor knew that giving Michael Jackson the medicine was wrong, but he kept giving it to him because that is what Michael Jackson told him to do.  Now that things went wrong, it is the doctor who is in trouble and may go to prison.  Prison and jail, I have always explained to them, is a time-out for a very, very long time.

As a parent you know what your child can and can not handle and what is appropriate for them.  Try to always answer their questions in a way they can understand instead of trying to change the subject.  This will build a strong relationship with them, giving them the confidence to come to you with any questions they might have.