Providence, Rhode Island and Omaha, Nebraska are the two locations in the United States that will host KFC’s new sandwich, the “Double Down”. What’s the big deal? Instead of two buns, the Double Down features bacon and melted cheese between two pieces of chicken filet.
First, I’m hesitant to even call this a sandwich. Traditionally, a sandwich features two pieces of bread to contain the meat; that’s the way it worked for the 4th Earl of Sandwich, after whom the invention was named. Second, the referring article estimates that the Double Down contains 1,228 calories, which is quite a lot for a simple “sandwich”.
Third, it’s a battle sometimes to get our kids to eat properly — with utensils and napkins. This seems like a step in the wrong direction. KFC, never regarded as a bastion of good taste to begin with, has effectively taken out-of-home dining a further step down the evolutionary ladder with this product, and it had already done a great job of doing so with its Famous Bowl meal, which is, as comedian Patton Oswalt put it once, “a failure pile in a sadness bowl”.
Parents, there’s very little reason to take your kids to KFC at the best of times — the food isn’t good for you at all, no matter how tasty it is. And it won’t be long before they’ve done away with manners entirely. Please teach your kids that etiquette still applies, and it can be the measure of a person’s personality when all else is equal. “Please” and “thank you” and wiping hands on napkins instead of clothing all still matter. Greasy hands from Double Down consumption are unnecessary and uncouth. Thanks for making our parental work harder, KFC.
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