Image courtesy of Gizmodo.com
Somewhere, Miley Cyrus is breathing a sigh of relief.
If you were worried Miley’s Teen Choice pole performance might give your child ideas, prepare to be petrified about Pole Dancer, the pole dancing doll which will not only expose your little girl to the world of exotic dance, but actually teach your child the best money making moves.
Pole Dancer, which can’t actually even be found for sale anywhere, has parents everywhere up in arms. The photo first popped up on gadget blog, Gizmodo.com, and has been spreading through the parenting blogoshpere like wildfire. (I searched with all my might, along with a few other blogs reporting on the subject, and none of us could find an actual avenue to buy the doll. The picture is grainy, but everyone seems to agree that the picture is legit-so its gotta be somewhere.)
The little doll comes with her very own detachable pole and flashy clothes. The box promises “Style.” “Interesting.” “Music.” “Flash.” and the doll moves “up and down” and “around and around” on her little hooker pole. I’m sure she will provide your little girl with hours of self esteem raising fun, and if it goes missing, check under brother’s bed.
People thought Barbie was risque when she first came out, but Barbie has little plastic boobies- this doll is a stripper. Granted, it looks like something you would pick up at The Dollar Store, but I can’t believe this made it past the product pitching stage. I would like to chalk it up to a product of another country that didn’t quite translate well, but it comes with its own freakin’ pole! You can’t translate that incorrectly.
I can’t help but wonder what the development board meeting was like.
“Mr. Johnson, are you ready for your presentation?”
“Yes, sir. I have developed a new doll that is going to be bigger than anything we’ve ever seen. Think Bratz for the next generation. She’s self sufficient, a career woman, knows how to have a good time, and has incredible upper body strength. She’s Pole Dance- everything every little girl hopes to one day become.”
“Perfect. Does she come with lucite heels, cigarette burns and daddy issues?”
“Its not in the budget.”
“But she comes with her own pole.?”
“Naturally.”
“Johnson, we are going to be millionaires.”
