I have no idea how single parents do it. Logistically, I can’t wrap my brain around having small children or worse yet, infants, and trying to tackle tasks that I never dreamed of attempting without help in those early days, like grocery shopping, cooking a meal…or showering. Fortunately, I have a supportive and involved husband who assists so that my legs are shaved daily once a week. My personal mantra as a mother has often been, “If a single mom can do it alone, I can do it too.”
Understandably then, for single parents, the search for the next Mr. or Mrs. Right takes on a little added pressure. Not only would a new spouse provide companionship and emotional support, but he or she would also take on the role of stepparent and seemingly give the children a new mentor, guide and mother or father figure in their lives. However, a recent study by an Ohio State University professor found that a single parent marrying or moving in with a partner may be as damaging to a child as a divorce.
They study specifically found that children from stable single parent homes fared just as well behaviorally and academically as their peers in married households.
Having come from a household with happily married parents and being in a happy marriage myself, to understand the significance of these findings, I can only draw on my friends’ experiences, and by “friends,” I mean The Brady Bunch. If what the study suggests is true, perhaps if “the lady” hadn’t “met this fellow,” the Brady kids would have been better off. Maybe Peter wouldn’t have bucked authority by playing ball in the house. Maybe Marsha would not have so desperately sought love and peer approval by promising Davy Jones would come to her prom. And maybe, just maybe, Jan would have felt secure enough in her own inner beauty to not wear that God awful black wig to Lucy Winter’s birthday party.
