COUNTER POINT: Facing Walls and Overprotecting Our Children
Earlier today, it was reported that a woman pulled her son out of a school for a week because he was told to stand facing a wall during recess. The “public humiliation,” as it’s being called by the twelve-year-old’s mother and others was the punishment for not turning in a homework assignment. My colleague Akela contends that “public humiliation… is undoubtedly too strong a punishment for a sixth grader to endure,” and that the proper punishment would be to give a failing grade. I have to respectfully disagree. Working with a number of pre-teens over the years in a variety of capacities, I’ve seen my fair share of sixth graders that could use a little humility.
A little bit of embarrassment never hurt anyone, and my guess is that this is not the first line of defense against uncompleted homework. As a parent of a child who faces homework issues, I understand that sometimes it takes more than an ‘F’ to get through to someone who just doesn’t want to do homework and doesn’t realize the importance of grades. Don’t misunderstand me, here. No person should be subjected to frequent or repeated humiliation. But 20 minutes standing by a wall “while behind your back other students play” (in other words, aren’t paying you a lick of notice) is not going to destroy a child’s sense of self or his self-worth.
A kink in the story is that this punishment tactic has not been questioned previously in the district, and was only questioned when the student protested to his mother. This is just another example of parents trying to be their children’s friends instead of their parents. When they can’t control them (i.e.: get them to do their homework), they won’t let anyone else teach their children responsibility, either. I think pulling the child out of school was immature and irresponsible, and overreacting to boot. If we so vigilantly protect our children from embarrassment that they never experience it, we end up with children that have no humility, sympathy, or empathy for their fellow man. And in this situation in particular, a child who clearly received the message that he doesn’t have to do his homework, because Mommy will come to his rescue when he’s punished for it. In fact, I want to know: did Jonathan ever complete his homework assignment?
Agreed, Crystal – instilling a sense of responsibility begins with letting kids know there are consequences to their actions. Standing facing a wall during recess is hardly the worst consequence, and any parent who thinks that this type of “punishment” is too harsh is doing their kid a terrible disservice.