Ft. Hood Aftermath: Talking with Kids about Violence in the News

With all the news today about the tragic Ft. Hood shootings, your kids are bound to hear the stories and have questions. Dramatic events in the news can deeply disturb some children; others ignore it. But for all people of any age, making sense of unexpected violence can be very difficult.

As a parent, teacher, or friend, you can make a world of difference in a child’s response to these events.  A short conversation can remind them that no matter what may happen in the world, they’ve got trustworthy adults who love them.

A few tips from experts:

• Know your child. Every child has a different tolerance for bad or scary news, so tailor your conversation to your child’s age and resilience level. There is value in your child facing reality, but they may not have the resources to cope with the uglier facts of life yet. Literally, children’s brains have not yet developed to handle such complexity. They’ll have plenty of time to learn about pain later. It’s okay to shelter them a little bit now.
• Take charge of the media in your home. If your children are upset, this may be a good time to limit media exposure. The news can be especially exciting and traumatizing… so just turn it off until the story dies down.
• Be honest. Win your child’s trust by answering their questions truthfully (but limit scary details). If they know they can trust you to tell the truth, they’ll also trust you when you say, “I don’t think something like that will ever happen to you or our family.”
• Express your own feelings and confusion. “Sometimes people do things that don’t make any sense,” or “Sometimes terrible things happen, even to nice people.” Phrases like this aren’t exactly comforting, but they’re true. It’s valuable for kids to know you’re confused too, and that some things can’t be easily explained.
• Give them a larger perspective. Remind them that the news always focuses on unusual events and big, bad things …. But thousands of good things happen every day that you never see on the news! When they get blue, help them recognize the good and beautiful things in their own life.