It’s been almost six months since President Obama called on American dads to “step up” in his Father’s Day speech. Back in June, there was a lot of excitement about this new emphasis on fatherhood…. But how are we doing now?
Volumes of studies show that having an involved father leads kids to healthier relationships, better grades, and lower delinquency. You don’t have to be perfect to be a great father … you just have to try. Here are three easy things anyone can do today:
- Ask your kids questions. Start a conversation and then listen to their answers! Ask how their day went, what TV shows they like, what’s new with their friends. Keep it casual and short, and don’t grill them like a police investigator. Even if they act like you’re a weirdo (especially teenagers), just knowing their dad is interested in their life can make a kid feel secure and confident. Most importantly, if they know they can talk to you about little things, they’ll be more likely to come to you later with the big questions. Small conversations every day will pay HUGE dividends over the years.
- Let your kids get to know YOU. Kids can forget that parents are humans, especially if every family conversation revolves around the kids. So remind them that you’re an interesting person by talking about what you like, what you don’t like, and how you felt about your day. It’s especially powerful if you talk about your feelings or admit a mistake, because they’ll see that their feelings and struggles are normal. Your kids will love the sense of equality this gives them, and it may help them better understand and respect your point of view.
- Pay real compliments. All kids are dying for their parents’ approval, and dads are usually stingier with praise than moms. Say something nice to your child today….. but make it real, because even little kids can see straight through a phony compliment. An exaggerated compliment like, “You’re the best kid in the world!” means a lot less to a child than something concrete like, “This is a nice improvement on your math test! All that studying paid off!”
