When the familiar Disney logo comes up before a movie, audiences have a built in expectation. They expect high quality and good, clean, wholesome family entertainment. Well, you get none of that with “Old Dogs,” a slap sticky, sometimes vulgar and offensively predictable comedy starring John Travolta and Robin Williams. This is family entertainment at its worst.
The unlikely pair, both in real life and on screen, play best friends and 40-something bachelors who co-own a very successful sports marketing agency. While in the middle of a very big deal with a Japanese company, Williams’ character finds out that an epic one night stand he in Miami seven years ago has produced a pair of twins. There’s more to this but it’s not worth describing. Long story short, he has to take care of them for two weeks even though he has a strong disposition to kids.
From there, “Old Dogs” is scene after scene after disjointed scene of these two men getting into wacky situations for, and caused by, the kids. There are age jokes, gay jokes, fart jokes, shots to the groin and -yes- even an extended drug hallucination scene to go with “prison rules” sports, zoo break ins and more, all of which is set to the most cliched musical choices imaginable. More interesting actors are totally wasted in small roles and neither of the leads even try to be convincing.
Actually, the most redeeming thing about the movie is that the kids aren’t the menace. They are just kids who make simple mistakes. It’s the adults who keep putting themselves in really pointless situations that make for all the problems. And, at least, those adults attempt to be role models. They never neglect the kids or treat them in anyway with disrespect. There are no scenes of parents screaming at kids. So, to its credit, “Old Dogs” does have some good parental morals.
Those morals don’t save the movie from being unfunny though. Some people in my screening were laughing, however, so if you and your family do enjoy that kind of wacky humor – you might enjoy “Old Dogs.” (It’s from the same people who made “Wild Hogs,” so that’s a good barometer) But, it is our job to let you know that while the film does eventually become about a dad who wants to be with his kids, the path it takes to get there is probably not worth your money.
You’d be much better off going to see Disney’s “The Princess and the Frog,” review coming soon.
“Old Dogs” opens in theaters Wednesday November 25, just in time for Thanksgiving. For tickets, check out the official site here.
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