You’re liars! Every last one of you!
“He’s adorable!”
“OMG! So cute!”
That’s what you posted on my newborn’s Facebook pictures, but come on, did you really mean it?
Let’s face it, newborns are really only cute to their parents, who made them, and their grandparents, who waited with baited breath for the baby-making to finally occur.
Yes, bringing a new life into this world is amazing, but let’s not overlook the truth: Babies don’t hit their stride, looks-wise, until about three months or later. Up until that point, they can be lumped into two main categories: aliens and old men. My son fell into the latter group. I love him to pieces and think he is the most beautiful creature that ever pooped on this earth. But in those early days, I can see how, to the casual observer, he probably just looked like any other baby with a Rudy Giuliani receding hairline and the face of chicken guru Frank Perdue. He also had jaundice, to boot.
Yet, there were the comments, praising him on his baby beauty. I accepted them but knew my acquaintances were just telling me what I wanted to hear. I ignored those that claimed that he looked just like me. Let’s get real, people. (Unless, of course, my Facebook friends were trying to tell me that I look like an old man, in which case I give them an enthusiastic middle finger.)
I think what these well-meaning Facebookers were really trying to say about my son was, “OMG! Thank goodness he’s healthy!” or “It’s totally precious that he has all of his fingers and toes!”
Of course, at almost seven months old, he’s now utterly adorable and worthy of such compliments. But I’ll hold onto those early photos, just to remind him how lucky he is to no longer be a newborn.
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