Twilight’s Bella Swan: Your Daughter’s Worst Role Model

By Kelly Turner on December 7th, 2009

• Share
• Link to StumbleUpon
• 1 Comment

I finally made it to see “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” the number one movie in the universe.  The theater was filled with little girls, a few parents, and my boyfriend, who only sat still for so long because I bought him the biggest popcorn they had and he can check his Facebook on his cell phone.

So, here is a little info on me: I’m a 23 year old, unmarried woman with no children (which seems like a sin to admit on this site.) I am not the target audience of “The Twilight Saga,” but I read all 4 books just the same. And loved them.  They are a quick read despite their length and not horribly thought provoking, so they are perfect for a bubble bath or rainy day.  I fell in love with brooding, mysterious Edward Cullen the same as every other girl, and then fell in love with boyish and carefree werewolf Jacob Black.  The only character that never grew on me was the main character, Bella Swan.

I found it odd, even as I was reading them, that I enjoyed the books so much, even though I continued to dislike Bella more and more.  Shes’ supposed to be an “every girl,” obviously so the main demographic of the book could relate to her, but I found her so extreme, she was not only unrelatable, she is down right unlikable.  She is a self-admittedly plain teenager in every way, with no redeeming qualities, but yet both Edward and Jacob are in love with her.  The appeal? I’ll never know.

She’s painfully insecure to the point of frustration, sarcastic and unnecessarily rude, especially to her poor dad.  I might be more sensitive to disrespect and common courtesy as an adult, although I do remember getting excessively annoyed at my parents for no reason at 16 years old.

The good news is, if you ask your daughter, she will probably say she hates Bella too, either because she stole Edward Cullen, or she broke Jacob’s heart.  The bad news?  Even if your daughter doesn’t like Bella, Bella’s message, especially in “New Moon,” still comes through loud and clear.

In case you are unaware, “New Moon” is basically the story of how vampire Edward leaves his love, mortal Bella, high and dry because he doesn’t want to hurt her – literally.  She collapses in the woods for a few hours, then sits in her house for a few months, and then starts getting reckless so he will visit her and yell at her for being stupid.  That’s about it.  Gray, depressing, teenage angst.

The message?  You cannot be happy without a the man you love, even if he doesn’t want you, and he kills people, and leaves you in a crippled heap in the middle of the forest.  Life will not go on, at least for a few months, and nothing else matters: not school (I hate to ruin it, but later in the series she chooses her college based on where Edward can stay hidden), not friends, and definitely not family.  Great, just what our girls need to hear.

In the book, the time passes with the month printed on otherwise blank pages, indicating she did nothing, and felt nothing, because she is nothing without this boy. In the movie, it’s a lot of blank stares, and sighs, isolation and camera rotation.  I would have killed for a “Three months later…” subtitle.

At first, I thought maybe I just don’t remember what it’s like when you lose your first love as a teen.  But then the girl started throwing herself off cliffs so Edward would visit her.  It reminds of the hysterical irrational girls that text their ex-boyfriends with threats of suicide to get them to show they care.  The worst part? It works.  He continues to visit her each time she gets more and more reckless, and of course they end up back together in the end.  No questions asked.  All is forgiven.

I am so sick of the message that you cannot be complete without a partner.  “They are my other half.”  Which means what?  You are only half a person? I have been in a serious relationship for over four years, we are discussing marriage, and I would be heart broken if he left me (especially in the middle of a forest.)  But you know what?  I’d get over it- and that’s not an indication of how much or little I love him.  I know that I am a strong, whole and complete person who was lucky enough to find someone who adds to my life.  If he were to leave, I am still whole, and I’d be fine.  I happen to think I’m pretty good company.

While young, crushingly volatile love makes for a good read, it makes for a horrible example, especially for our young girls who have no frame of reference, and are vulnerable to making bad choices.  Bella is the weakest, most naive female lead I have experienced and her blind love, blind forgiveness, and blind disregard for her own mental and physical well being sets a dangerous precedent.  In the book it all works out, but in the real world, this combination often has disastrous consequences.