“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.
Can somebody explain to me why we have the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America)? I mean, if we’re going to totally undermine the movie rating system by shilling toys to toddlers that are tie-ins to PG-13 movies what’s the point? How do you justify marketing a toy to a three-years-old child that’s based on a movie that the child might get to see in a decade?
It all started with “Pirates of the Caribbean” for me. During a trip to the McDonald’s drive-through, I asked for a toddler toy for my youngest child, who was under three at the time. I expected a Fisher Price vehicle of some sort, as that was the usual under-three toy. Imagine my surprise to pull out a skeleton. And not just any skeleton – a glow-in-the-dark, “Pirates of the Caribbean”-branded skeleton. It was nowhere near Halloween, so it wasn’t that. It was the movie they were marketing to my toddler.
Wait. You mean to tell me that you actually expect me to give this toy to my child? First, I can’t believe someone somewhere actually had the idea to make a soft, stuffed skeleton. Does that seem just a little bit weird to anyone else out there? Second, how do you expect me to explain what it is to my child?
“Well, honey, there’s this movie…”
“Ooh! Can I see it?”
“Um, no.”
“Then how do I know what the guy is supposed to do?”
Did you hear that? That was my sigh as I plunked my head on the steering wheel.
So, I avoid McDonald’s. Problem solved. Until I get home and the television commercial entices my eight-year-old with the most awesome toy ever – a “Pirates of the Caribbean” play set, complete with Davy Jones. Try explaining that without letting them watching the movie.
Oh, and that movie “Avatar” that comes out Friday and is all over your local McDonalds right now? Yep, you guessed it. PG-13.
I propose that toy companies and fast food restaurants be prohibited from creating or marketing toys and products to children that are younger than the recommended age for seeing a movie. How’s that for some common sense?
