Hope Witsell was an average 13 year old girl, attending middle school, had lots of friends and was, of course, starting to get interested in boys. To get the attention of one in particular, she sent a topless photo of herself to him, which spread like wildfire. Soon, not only had students from her school seen it, but it made its way through the local high school and neighboring schools in the area. The teasing was relentless, as kids would surround Hope in the hallway and taunt her, calling her a “whore” and a “slut.”
On September 12, 2009, Hope Witsell hung herself from the canopy of her bed. She was pronounced dead at the hospital.
In March, 2009, 18-year-old Jesse Logan killed herself after putting up with taunts about explicit photos she took for an ex-boyfriend who forwarded them after they split.
More than a quarter of young people have been involved in sexting in some form, an Associated Press-MTV poll found. A Harris Poll shows up to nine percent of 13-year-old girls admit they have sent nude pictures of themselves on cell phones.
This is something new, that parents have never had to deal with before. We know about the dangers of internet predators, and those on the outside that prey on children through technology, but it’s hard for us to think that our children can be engaging in such dangerous behaviors that leave them in such a vulnerable position. What children don’t realize is that something private sent via internet or phone to an intended recipient doesn’t stay that way, and once it’s out there, it never goes away. Anytime you send something like that to someone, you put it in their hands and must live with what they decide to do with it.
There are other dangers, too. Taking, or being in possession of sexually explicit photos of underage children is punishable by law- no matter what age the perpetrator.
Just this year, six Pennsylvania high school students were charged because of their sexting behaviors. Three 14- and 15- year old girls at Greensburg Salem High School took nude and semi nude pictures of themselves on their cell phones and sent them to three boy classmates. The girls face charges of manufacturing, disseminating or possessing child pornography and the boys, who are 16 and 17, face charges of possession of child pornography.
Those pictures can come back to haunt them years down the line, as well. Children don’t think a few days ahead, let alone years down the line. College admissions offices and potential employers now Google and check the Facebooks of candidates to get as much information on them as possible. Even if there are no nude photos floating around, those cleavagy profile and keg stand pictures can be reason to exclude a candidate from admission or employment.
But there is, of course, a bigger issue. The acting out is the same. No matter what the decade or the technology is, kids just have a different vehicle with which to act on these transgressions. The majority of these incidents are young girls sending pictures to boys, and then the boys spread them around. Just like any sexually explicit behaviors, young girls engage in them because they are craving attention from anywhere they can get it, and the easiest place is from the opposite sex. This then leads boys to believe it is okay to objectify the girl, since she has done it to herself, and disrespects and degrades her by sharing the photos with others.
After Hope’s school found out about the pictures and suspended her for the first week of school the following year, her parents grounded her for the summer. Hope’s mother, Donna Witsell told Meredith Vieira in an interview for the Today show, “She received her punishment for a mistake she’d made. You set rules and boundaries in the household … You punish them and then you let it go. You love them. You continue to talk with them, you continue to try to keep that line of communication open, but most of all you continue to love them. You don’t shame them.”
Talk to your kids about the dangers of sexting before it becomes an issue. Explain to them the legal ramifications of taking, having or distributing that type of content, but then really talk to them about the emotional consequences. The social stigma may be enough to make them think twice, but the priority should be to let your children know they are worth more than a cheap ogle from the opposite sex. Their body is theirs, it is something that should be cherished and respected and no one deserves to have control over who sees it but them.
