Has your husband ever done something that makes you think, “Boy, didn’t your mama teach you anything?” Yeah mine too. The truth is there is no perfect husband. Yet we have all heard the urban legend of your cousin’s friend’s sister’s husband who happily changes dirty diapers, bathes the kids, puts them to bed and then gives her a foot massage while asking about her day. Could this ever be your husband? Probably not, but it could be your future daughter-in-law’s, aka your son. And she will in turn be eternally grateful and write books about your incomparable parenting skills. Well, maybe not. But it will make her life easier and probably foster a better relationship between the two of you, possibly scoring you extra grand kid time. Sound good? Read on to learn how to raise your son up to be a model husband.
First, it is imperative to resist the urge to do everything for him. Since you have probably raised your son since he was a baby, you are used to taking care of him and doing everything for him. This is a hard habit to break because we don’t see him grow up into the young man everyone else sees. To us he is still our little boy that needs mothering. But if you mother too much or too long he will expect someone to always do things, like pick up his socks, for him. This makes for a husband who is barely willing to take care of himself let alone pitch in with the kids.
You must also demand respect from your husband in front of your kids. Your son learns how to treat woman by the interactions he observes at home. Even seemingly little things, like your husband criticizing your discipline methods, can be detrimental if it happens often enough. He sees Mommy as all females and Daddy as all males. So if Daddy is always telling Mommy what to do, then men must be smarter than woman. You can see the problem here as no one wants a husband with a superiority complex.
Last , but certainly not least, you must teach your son how to communicate effectively. This will help him in all aspects of life, but especially in his marriage. To do this you must model it in your home while he grows up. Emphasize that your family’s love and respect for each other trump anything else that is going on. And although fighting and arguing is okay, blatant personal attacks are not. Also be sure to completely resolves issues in the household. You’ve heard the saying, “Love means never having to say I’m sorry.” That’s not really the case. So often when we are upset with someone, we hold a grudge for a few days and then pick up where we left off. This doesn’t really accomplishing anything. Because when the same situation arises later on we go through that ugly cycle again. By discussing and resolving issues as they occur, it lets everyone know where they stand and what the expectations are in the relationship. I think that this is the best gift that you can give your future daughter-in-law because he will not only use this skill with her, he will use it with their children as well.
