Teenagers have always treated each other badly, but the extension of teen bullying into the virtual landscape of the internet has turned teasing deadly. Phoebe Prince, a fifteen year old from western Massachusetts, is the latest victim of this trend – apparently driven to suicide by vicious cyber bullying. Friends say that the young Irish girl, who moved to South Hadley, Mass. just last year, had been the recipient of horrifying online messages and emails. “Someone told her to go hang herself, and I don’t really know who that was,” classmate Jessica Chapdelaine explained. ”But she was getting bullied by some people, because there were people talking about her and I guess she just didn’t like being hated.”
Unfortunately, Phoebe isn’t alone. There have been multiple cases of cyber torment driving teenagers to suicide since the rise of social networking sites. Why is cyber bullying so much worse than the schoolyard variety? It follows you home. Internet safety expert Parry Aftab told “Good Morning America” today that this kind of bullying is torture for some kids precisely because they can’t escape it. ”The schoolyard bullies beat you up and then go home. The cyberbullies beat you up at home, at grandma’s house, where ever you’re connected to technology.” And the average American teenager is connected to technology pretty much all of the time.
So what can you do? Aftab says parents should watch out for their children suddenly hesitating to use the technology they once loved. Facebook, e-mail and online gaming shouldn’t be something a teenager avoids. If a teen is being bullied, they need to “stop, block and tell” – refuse to read the insulting messages, block the sender and tell a parent or teacher.
It’s important to prepare your children for the possibility of cyber bullying. Start talking to them about it early and make it clear that telling you the minute something happens will allow you to help them solve the problem. Children often believe that involving an adult will simply make teasing worse so address that. Also, encourage your children not to react openly to bullies. If their tormentors don’t get the reaction they want, they may just stop. Instead, teens should be taught to walk away from the computer, take a few minutes to calm down and then block the teaser from their various accounts. Make sure they know how blocking functions in any social networking or email accounts they have.
Most of all, be available, and make sure your child knows how valued and loved they are at home.
