My fiance and I were watching “Dr. Phil” a few weeks back, and the topic was little girls and makeup. Girls between ages 7 through 11 were battling their mothers for the right to wear makeup in public and even to school. When I say makeup, I’m not talking about a little nail polish and clear lip gloss. These little girls wanted to wear foundation, mascara, eyeshadow, blush and lipstick, and were probably about three steps away from slapping on five inch heels and evening gowns.
Little girls love to play dress-up, and with the increasing number of “princess” themed makeup and dress-up kits on the market, many of them begin experimenting with beauty at just three years of age. Not only are they imitating mommy and the other influential girls and women in their life, they are also exploring their own appearance and beauty.
Makeup is an expression of femininity, and from the moment we bring our little girls into the world we dress them in frilly pink clothing and adorn them with sparkly jewelry to make them feel special. Some mothers paint their daughter’s fingernails, and even go the extra mile and have tiny ears pierced. While it is parental prerogative on how far these expressions of femininity go, when it comes to makeup there are a few things you as parents should take into consideration.
While this exploration of femininity and beauty is a necessary part of the growth process, how much is too much?
We want them to be cute and pretty, but encouraging them to explore natural beauty is an important part of developing their self-image and esteem. Makeup tends to be equated with sex-appeal, not something parents want associated with their eight-year-old, or even their fifteen-year-old.
My own fifteen-year-old daughter has a wider collection of cosmetics and beauty products than I have probably owned throughout the entire course of my life. Sometimes she overdoes it for dramatic effect if she and her friends are going out, but she also knows what is and isn’t appropriate for school and other social outings. When she was younger, I encouraged her to search for her individuality, but the gradual progression into makeup was a slow process.
From time to time, I painted her little fingernails when she was small, and encouraged her to play dress-up to explore her imagination. On the other hand, I did not allow her to leave the house with lipstick smeared mouth and rosy cheeks at five-years-old because it seemed absurd. Even now that she has started to develop and experiment with makeup in a social setting, she also knows that she is beautiful and feminine without makeup. She doesn’t have to put on her face to feel comfortable leaving the house, and there are ways to accentuate beauty without wearing makeup at all.
Every child’s social development is different. Some may reach puberty as early as ten years of age. Just because she got her period, it doesn’t mean she is ready to walk out of the house in high heels and red lipstick. Understanding your child’s personal maturity level is imperative to determining whether or not she’s ready to start wearing makeup. Most girls will start socially experimenting with makeup in middle school and junior high. If you’re leery about letting your daughter walk into sixth-grade with her face painted, but she’s been asking to start wearing makeup, consider letting her start slow. Clear and light colors of lip gloss will still allow her to feel feminine, without her coming across older than her years.
There is no set age that a little girl becomes socially responsible enough to wear makeup and, if you’re anything like me, you want to keep your little girls innocent as long as possible. The unfortunate thing is that many kids will go behind your back if you deny them, so educate her about age appropriate makeup when she starts to express an interest. Teach her about techniques and colors that accentuate her natural beauty and flatter her skin tones. That way if she does go to school and put on makeup in the bathroom before class, she’ll know what she’s doing and save herself the embarrassment of looking trashy, or even worse, like a clown.
