All parents are different, and that’s a big part of the fun of being one. Shaping your child through your words, actions and beliefs is part of the joy of taking pride in what makes each child a unique individual and why you can take pride in the person your child is, and who they will eventually become.
It is important to be aware of your parenting style, because according to TODAYMoms.com, Leadership expert Jamie Woolf, each parenting style has tendencies that may bring about unintended difficulties.
Woolf has developed a “Parenting Mode” framework that helps parents make the most of their own parenting style while preventing that style’s tendencies from having a negative impact on the child during tough times.
Woolf would have you believe all parents fit into three nice and neat categories, but we all know that’s not true. In some situations you may be one style, and in others you may be something different, but here are Woolf’s three main parenting styles, and what you can learn from each.
The Achiever: These parents set the bar for their child high and expect them to rise to the occasion. While this style instills a strong work ethic, perseverance and self confidence in the child, it can be easy to get too caught up in the child’s accomplishments. Children may begin to feel their successes are a gauge of their self worth, and that you feel that way, too, which can cause stress, anxiety and lowered self esteem. Woolf explains the challenge of an Achiever parent is to listen without judgment and to make sure your child knows you love them no matter what.
The Liberator: Liberator parents foster individuality and strive to foster independent thinking. Letting your child know they are free to be who they want to be is important to letting them feel loved and cherished for who they are, but these parents can sometimes fail to show empathy for a kid’s need to belong. The challenge is to be supportive even as you let their children explore their uniqueness. Remember that they will carry your lessons of being true to themselves when it really matters, even if they just want to fit in with their peers right now.
The Connector: These parents find a sense of parenting satisfaction from their emotional connection with their child. While knowing that they always have a safe place to fall gives the child a sense of unconditional love and security, rushing to protect your child or getting overly involved in your child’s emotional life can either force them to rely on you by hindering their coping skills or push them away. Too much prying will cause a shut down in, bringing about the exact thing the Connector parent most fears. Connectors need to let children develop their own lives and be responsible for their own emotions.
So what kind of parent are you? Are you even represented? How would you describe your own parenting style?
