British author and pop-psychologist Oliver James has written a new parenting book titled How Not To F*** Them Up, a follow-up to his 2002 book on family, They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life.
Aside from his fondness for putting the F-word in his book titles, Oliver James is well known for his views on the “nurture” side of parenting, and his stress on the importance of early childhood development.
Already creating a buzz in parenting circles, How Not To F*** Them Up states that mothers of toddlers should avoid working outside the home or leaving young children in the care of others for long periods.
He writes that young children “need to be in the presence of a responsive, loving adult at all times. As a parent of a child of this age, you need to realize that if things go pear-shaped it is actually always your fault, in the sense that if you keep a close enough eye on them you can prevent atrocities.” James also compares strict disciplining of young children to training them “like a dog in a laboratory”. How’s that for a guilt trip?
Despite his arguments for intensive one-on-one parenting, James says that he is “not remotely anti working mothers”. He says, “I really don’t want to make life more difficult. I’m really trying to make it easier.”
We’re not so sure about that, Mr. James.
What do you working mothers out there think? Is James’ theory and advice realistic? What do you do with the myriad parenting advice out there?
How Not To F*** Them Up by Oliver James will hit bookshelves on June 3.
