Mommy Only Vacation: Is it Selfish or a Requirement?
Recently, I read the article “Worst Mother in the World” by Emma Wilson that made me a wee-bit uncomfortable. In this article, Wilson describes the need for some Mommy only time. She writes about her plans for a romantic holiday – a 2 week Caribbean holiday – sans her seven month old. The backlash she received was immense. The mothers who wrote back were harsh and gave their two-cents worth imbedded deceptively in a series of passive aggressive commentary:
- The baby will experience separation anxiety
- You will miss him too much
- You will feel guilty
- What will others think?
She also retorts with a handful of defensive strategies:
- “Isn’t it vital that a marriage maintains a pulse, to give a fighting chance for a happy well-balanced family?”
- “What exactly was so terrible about burying him in the cozy Cotswolds surrounded by a familiar bedroom, toys, his favorite dog, staff and all under the watchful eye of his doting Grandmother?”
- “It wasn’t as if Baby H was going to appreciate the Caribbean sunshine or the mid-morning complimentary Planters Punches on the beach.”
This made me wonder… If she didn’t feel guilty – why the double post? Why the need to explain herself? Why the need for approval?
Beyond this, what makes me the most uncomfortable is this need to have a break from your child so early on in the relationship? While this is a single girl with no child’s point of view – I wonder if she did the same thing when she married her husband. Did she need a time-out from being a wife?
When someone buys a dog and goes through the training process and it whines, and bickers and complain for the first 6 months and reeks havoc on our living rooms and sanity – Do we stick it in doggy daycare and head for the hills?
While I don’t believe for a second that it will have any lasting effects on the child – I doubt it will have tremendous effect on their marriage as well. Sure, for the first couple of days you will be relaxed and rejuvenated (I absolutely don’t see any reason why one wouldn’t take a couple of days off) but while the days wear on – wouldn’t you want to see how your child – young as he is – would experience the ocean, the sand and the sun?
And when that guilt sets in, which it will, since there was guilt written all over her pre-vacation post – how will this affect her and her vacation?
While I believe every mommy needs a break, I’m still conflicted – when you choose to be a mom, you understand that it’s going to be hard – To counter this you plan a weekend off here and there, your date nights and your play dates and spa retreats with your girlfriends.
What I don’t understand is how you would need two whole weeks away from a child at a time in his life when everything is changing – he’s learning to walk, talk, learn, experience and you’re getting a VIP pass to it all - leaves me feeling awkward, distressed, and uncomfortable.
Maybe I need a vacation…
YOUR TWO-CENTS
How do you feel about Baby-Free vacations in the first year?
