If you’ve got more than one child in your home, there’s a good chance you’re also living with sibling rivalry. It’s an issue that effects 5 year olds, 15 year olds, and likely more adults than you think.
But believe it or not, your kids can enjoy a good relationship with each other – for more than 10 minutes at a time! It just takes a little work and a few ground rules.
While it’s next to impossible to completely eliminate sibling competition and jealousy in families, we’ve got a few tips (via Breezy Mama) that will help to minimize sibling rivalry in your household.
Feel free to share your own tips in the comments section as well!
10. Spend Quality One-On-One Time with Each Child. Sibling fighting, at its core, has a lot to do with parent’s attention. Making an effort to spend time with each of your kids can dramatically reduce their fighting.
9. Avoid Playing Judge and Jury. Taking sides results in a winner and a loser and increases overall competition between siblings.
8. Establish Family Rules for “Stuff.” For example, if a child leaves their prized toy in the family room then it’s fair game for anyone to enjoy. If they don’t want their siblings to play with it, then they should put it in their ‘off limits’ shelf in their room.
7. Avoid Labels – Positive or Negative. Whether it’s a positive label, like funny, smart or athletic, or a negative label, like wild, shy or unmotivated, labels draw comparisons between siblings, which only serves to fuel their rivalry.
6. Tame the Competitive Spirit in your Family. Sibling fighting has shown to be worse in families that highly value competition.
5. Create Games That Require Kids to Work Together. Doing so encourages cooperation and shows the rewards of working together with your siblings.
4. Ignore Complaints About ‘Fairness.’ Kids often whine about who got more because they have come to realize that saying ‘it’s not fair’ will get a response. Most parents feel the need to justify why it is fair, which gives them a big payoff in attention. Avoid the temptation to respond.
3. Avoid Over-Relying on One of your Children. Your “go to kid” may enjoy the power and attention that comes from being depended upon, but it generally results in them feeling “superior” while the other children feel discouraged. Find age-appropriate ways for everyone to contribute.
2. Have a Plan for Fighting in the Car. Let them know in advance that it’s not safe for you to drive when they fight. If you say you’re going to pull over – stick to it. Proceed again when it’s quiet.
1. Remember that Sibling Fighting is Not Just a Kid Problem.
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