In homes across North America with one or more children, there is a silent (and often not-so-silent) menace that eats up floor space and leads to daily or even hourly conflict.
What is this terrible substance that afflicts the homes of otherwise well intentioned parents?
Toys.
Yes, toys.
If it was only St. Nick dealing in toys the epidemic would be far more manageable, but the problem today is that everyone is peddling the stuff; mom, dad, uncles, aunts and especially the grandparents.
The toy industry is a 21.5 billion dollar industry business to www.toyassociation.org and while Christmas and birthdays used to be the only time to give gifts, increasingly gifts are given for little or no apparent reason. Add to this that presents are given out in multiples rather than just one per occasion and it doesn’t take long before the toy stockpile gets out of control.
Because of all these gratuitous gifts, children are growing up feeling entitled to things regardless of whether they’ve earned a reward. Even worse, our society is teaching children that material possessions bring happiness; whenever you’re not happy…just buy something!
So why are we showering our children with increasing amounts of toys? Here are a few reasons:
Guilt – Toys are often given out of guilt due to a lack of time and attention. This shows up with both single parents who work long hours and the estranged parents that perhaps don’t help out with the kids as often as they should. Giving gifts is a great way to alleviate the guilt while generating short term happiness in the child, but ultimately solves nothing.
Competition – Conditioned by the media to believe that ‘more is better’, people doll out toys in direct proportion to how much they feel that they love the other person. This becomes further aggravated when some family members insist on outdoing themselves or others at any opportunity. Sometimes grandparents can get a little carried away with this.
Peer Pressure – This encompasses both the ‘keeping up with the Jones’” mentality as well as the media that force feeds us the need to be consumers to be happy. Parents affected by this are more concerned about their ego rather than what’s right for their children. They are told that the Playstation 3 is THE #1 toy for Christmas and get it regardless of the cost, or they want to keep up with what the neighbor’s kids are getting.
The escalation of toys doesn’t help children, they are no happier and we certainly don’t want them to equate happiness with having an abundance of useless toys. It’s healthy for children to realize they can’t always get what they want in life, whenever they happen to want it.
Here are some tips on how to reverse the trend and have happier children without throwing dollars at the problem.
Time – You can always get more money, but nobody can get more time. Time is the most precious thing that we have to give and if you truly want your children to feel loved give it to them. Instead of buying an expensive video game system that the kids will use in isolation, consider taking a family trip and spend time together. These memories could last a lifetime.
Get rid of Excessive Toys – Teach your children about giving to others and regularly round up the toys they don’t use and donate them. If they have a hard time keeping their toys in order, that’s a clear sign that they own more toys than they can manage.
Set Limits on Gifts – Set some basic guidelines for getting and receiving gifts and share it with your family. You can set limits on the number of presents that are acceptable, the type of gifts (ie. toys, clothing, books etc.) and the cost of gifts. For those who insist on being big spenders to show their love (their problem, not yours) give them the option of donating money towards a future college fund instead of more plastic junk that will be forgotten within a week or less.
