The Wiggles – Getting Strong

Please God, make it stop! My kids love these four Aussies and their dinosaur, but it gets limited play in our house because I simply cannot stand it. The too-short, too-cheerful ditties have no artistry that a grown-up ear can appreciate.

Choo Choo Soul – Choo Choo Soul

Why do kids love trains so much? This CD/DVD combo was an instant hit in our house. The videos of Genevieve, the conductor, and DC, the engineer, singing and dancing with real kids on an animated train are as colorful and fun as you would expect from Disney. The R&B styled songs about ABCs, 123s and zoo animals are as catchy as anything on the radio, and I don’t even mind when I find myself singing them after the kids are in bed.

Raffi – Singable Songs for the Very Young and The Corner Grocery Store

These are absolute favorites from my childhood, and my kids love them too. Raffi, to me, records perfect children’s music – simple and silly, with an emphasis on vocals rather than instrumentation so kids really can sing along. If these were the only kids’ albums we had, I’d be happy, and I think my kids would be too.

Nana Mouskouri – Pour Les Enfants

Another classic from my childhood, and does this woman ever have a beautiful voice! This is a children’s album sung in French. The melodies are beautiful, even haunting, and perfect for relaxing before naptime or bedtime. Your kids may not understand the lyrics but exposure to another language can only be a good thing.

For the Kids – For the Kids and For the Kids Too

This series of compilations features artists such as Sarah McLachlan, Tom Waits and Cake singing kids’ songs that sound more like grown-up music. That’s great, for the grown-ups. Actually, there are some real gems on both of these albums, and the kids do like them even if they can’t sing along. These may be more accurately considered kid-friendly music for parents.

They Might Be Giants – Here Comes Science

Welcome to geek central! This is an entire album of songs and videos about photosynthesis, evolution and the scientific method. My kids love it, even if most of the science is going over their heads. And if you’re at all familiar with TMBG, you’ll know it’s maddeningly catchy. Really, I can’t stop singing about computer assisted design, for Pete’s sake. This one’s love/hate for me. It’s great music; I just wish it would leave me alone when we turn it off.

1. Bed time. It’s not just the bedtime routine that’s important; it’s the actual bed time. We had been starting the bedtime routine at 8:00, which generally meant lights went out around 8:30. And then kids were up with one complaint or another until 10:30. Then one day we decided to shift bedtime snack up to 7:30, so that meant actual bedtime was 8:00. And like magic, the kids fell asleep. Really, are you kidding me? Putting them in bed earlier means they fall asleep faster? Turns out there’s a magic bedtime window when kids are tired, but not too overtired and cranky to fall asleep. Try an earlier bedtime, and for Pete’s sake, don’t keep them up later so that they’re “good and tired” – that backfires!
2. Music. Both of our kids have CD players in their rooms that play lullaby CDs on endless repeat until they are deep, deep in dreamland. Our four-year-old has a selection of favorites he’s built up over the years, ranging from Fisher Price Tender Lullabies to Leonard Cohen. Our two-year-old has listened to the same dime-store lullaby CD every nap time and every bedtime for over a year. It’s part Pavlovian response – the first few bars of the first song are enough to make them drowsy. It’s part comfort and familiarity – something kids crave at bedtime, like a favorite teddy bear. And it’s part soundproofing from the rest of the house – we play the CD just loud enough to cover up the sounds of life in the rest of the house.
3. Nightlight. Our oldest had never complained of the dark or asked for a nightlight, so we hadn’t bothered with one. Just before his fourth birthday, though, he started coming into our room almost every night, complaining of nightmares. Our pediatrician suggested a nightlight, saying that he might be rousing slightly in the middle of the night, after we’re in bed and the lights are off, and getting disoriented and frightened in the dark. This was another magic solution – he immediately went back to sleeping soundly through the night.
4. Massage. My daughter has always loved massages. In fact, she liked it so much that by around a year old, anytime she sat in Daddy’s lap she would put his hands on her back and say, “Rub!” Soon, she was asking for a bedtime rub, and that’s still the final step in her bedtime routine. My son, also, at some point started asking for a bedtime massage, and he’s very particular about how it’s done – legs and feet first, then arms, then back, then face. That last part goes back to when he was a tiny infant and I would stroke his face to get him to sleep. It still relaxes him, and my intense little boy often drifts off to sleep with a relaxed smile on his face.
5. 15 minute check-ins. This is something I stumbled across in a moment of parenting genius. It has worked on both kids, on many occasions, despite their very different temperaments. Every kid goes through phases from time to time of just not falling asleep. For whatever reason, they stay awake for hours, calling Mommy or Daddy every few minutes because they need a drink, they heard a noise, they need to go pee, etc. When these bedtime callbacks get out of hand, I say, “Don’t call me for anything. Just relax in bed. I will be back in 15 minutes, to see if you need anything.” This has a few advantages. It puts you in charge of the situation, rather than being at the child’s beck and call. It lets you continue with whatever you’re doing – at least the interruptions are predictable. It forces the child to lie quietly and begin relaxing in spite of himself, while still addressing his anxieties. It usually only takes a couple of 15-minute periods for kids to fall asleep, and after a couple nights of this they’re back to falling asleep on their own.

I live on a corner lot, which means that my “backyard” is exposed to the street on two sides. Due to an unfortunate combination of lot layout and local by-laws, we’re not allowed to put up a privacy fence. All we have is a token 27-inch tall ornamental fence, mostly to discourage neighborhood dogs from trampling our gardens. For the most part I don’t mind this. We live in a great neighborhood, and we get along with all of our neighbors in spite of their wandering dogs. We don’t feel too badly on display – our little fence actually seems to work as a psychological barrier, telling passersby to avert their eyes. One thing recently has been making me uncomfortable, though.

My two preschool-aged children, like most I would imagine, have a habit of stripping off their clothes and running around as free and beautiful as Nature made them. This, to me, is one of the prerogatives of early childhood. My sister and I did it, and there are snapshots of us running naked through the sprinkler to prove it. Those were more innocent times, I suppose. Now there’s a general taboo around birthday-suit photos. And while I don’t want to crush my children’s free spirits or teach them shame of their bodies so early, I can’t help being afraid for them. Who knows who might be walking by at any given moment? I don’t want my children providing fodder for someone’s fantasies. From there, my imagination runs to them becoming targets of a perverted photographer, and worse scenarios that my media-fueled paranoia won’t allow me to set down in black and white.

My then 4-year-old nephew once told me after his mother dropped him off for a play date that he wasn’t allowed to play outside because “somebody might steal me.” Where do you draw the line between protecting your children and allowing them the simple joys in life?

When my husband and I decided to start a family, we agreed right off the bat to space our children close together. It was mainly a matter of age: we had left the child-rearing stage of life a little later than some, and we didn’t want to be changing diapers in our 40s. We felt it was the only suitable option, but we debated the pros and cons nonetheless. We discussed our own childhood situations, and those of people we’d known growing up. Would a bigger age gap between children make a close sibling relationship less likely? Would siblings close in age be best friends or bitter rivals?

Naively, perhaps, we didn’t really give much thought to the logistics of parenting two small children at once. Our kids are 23 months apart. The first month verged on a nightmare. My 2-year-old son absolutely adored his baby sister, but had an extremely difficult time adjusting to the change in family dynamic. Between 24-hour newborn care and what felt like 24-hour toddler tantrums, we nearly lost our minds. Thankfully, just as my midwife promised, toddler memories are short, and after the longest, haziest four weeks of my life it was as if he’d always been an older brother. The next 12 months continued to be trying, though. Trying to get two small children ready and out the door to go anywhere in the bitter Northern winter was a monumental task. Forget sleeping; they never napped at the same time, and the baby was a night owl for the first six months. In retrospect, potty training a toddler while breastfeeding an infant every two hours may not have been the best idea.

When my youngest was nearly a year old, we encountered another mother with her kids at the park. Her children were 2 and 4, respectively a year older than mine. She smiled knowingly and told me that the first year was really hard, but the payoff in the end was worth it. And sure enough, a month or so later my daughter was walking and talking, gaining a little independence, and able to play with her brother. They’ve been inseparable ever since. I can cook dinner or talk on the phone without constant interruptions and demands for attention, because they entertain each other. Dropping my daughter off with a babysitter is no problem as long as her big brother is there. And nothing brings me pure joy like hearing my two children, now 2 and 4, giggling insanely together, or seeing them cuddled on the couch in front of morning cartoons, arms around each other.

I know that every child is different and every family is different, and that what worked for us won’t necessarily apply to anyone else. I also know that my children are still young; there are many ages and stages to get through yet, and they may not always be this enamored of each other. For the time being, however, not a day goes by that my husband don’t enjoy our children enjoying each other, look at each other smugly and congratulate each other on our wise decision.