“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.

As I’ve mentioned in my Twitter stream since the beginning of the school year, I hate school buses. The bus drivers in our school district drive like they own the road and everyone should get out of their way before they get run over. Seeing the news, apparently this attitude is common to quite a portion of bus drivers, whether it’s a school bus or public transit. I fail to understand why being a bus driver means you have free rein to be a jerk.

I have seen grown men and women in very large, very heavy vehicles full of children cut people off, lay on their horns, run stop signs, and block traffic arbitrarily. Most recently, I watched as the driver of a bus full of children pushed through school traffic, forcing cars that were in line to pick up their kids to scramble to the curb to keep from being hit. These aren’t kids learning how to drive. These aren’t centenarians who should have stopped driving a couple of decades ago. These are adults who have plenty of driving practice and must be trained and licensed to drive large vehicles. Why? Because those suckers are dangerous and can cause a lot of damage! There are no seat belts for the passengers, not to mention the people around the bus – dozens of people could be hurt or even killed by one act of driving arrogance, like cutting people off or texting snide comments about passengers to Facebook.

Besides the obvious danger (and most likely illegality) of these behaviors, do these people not realize that children are watching them and learning from them? The youngest are learning to be thoughtless and inconsiderate of others, while the older students are learning how to be the worst of drivers. What I find even more disturbing is that when these issues are mentioned, other parents just sigh and say, “What are you going to do? They’re bigger than you.”

Hello??? Can we say bullying?

Parents – stand up to bullies – whether they are in the school or in the school bus driver’s seat! And if you know of a great bus driver, please tell us about it and restore some of our faith in those that care for our children!

After she realized it wasn’t just costume jewelry her son had found, Ryan’s mother, Luna Baima, did some sleuthing over the weekend and called the bride Sunday night. Retired school teacher Joan Mulligan is now looking forward to having the rings repaired in time to celebrate her upcoming 50th wedding anniversary, which will be next August. Mrs. Mulligan gifted the boy with $50 as a reward, given in multiple bills. His response? Throwing them into the air and yelling, “Woo!”

She lost the rings while gardening on the opposite side of the yard so long ago. She enlisted the help of the neighborhood boys to help her find the rings back then, to no avail. As it turns out, one of those neighborhood boys still lives next door to the old Mulligan home. He recognized the rings when Mrs. Baima showed them to him.

What’s amazing about this story is the sheer improbability of the rings being found. Besides the fact that it had been over 30 years since the ring was lost, eight-to-ten truckloads of dirt have been removed from the yard over the last two weeks. The moral of the story: let your kids play outside – they just might make someone’s year!

“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.

Kids love to connect, and this generation of kids is especially fond of technological connection. Networks for kids like Disney’s Club Penguin, WebKinz, Whyville, and KidSwirl are cropping up almost daily. A survey from Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that in early 2007 55% of online American teens ages 12-17 used social networks. By December 2008, that percentage had gone up to 65%. Those numbers don’t sound surprising, given that our children start using computers as toddlers. What’s surprising is their ages: 12-17. Many social networking sites have a minimum age of 13 for users. Yet, these children have profiles and use them on a daily basis. How did they get profiles? Their parents let them lie about their ages, or flat out lied for them and set up the profiles.

Gone are the days when our young men lied about their ages to serve their country. (They were consequently thrown out of the military for the offense when discovered.) Girls aren’t as likely to create fake IDs to get into nightclubs. (They were also thrown out.) These days, they lie about their ages so they can send tweets or poke cute girls on Facebook. Parents today get upset, but in the end, they condone their children’s lying by allowing them to keep and use the illegally-gained profiles. Then they allow their younger siblings to set up accounts. What’s wrong with this picture?

What’s the point of having age requirements if they are ignored? No, I’m not advocating that age requirements are done away with. Just as speed limits are set to keep drivers safe, age requirements help keep site users safe. One would think that parents would want to enforce them for their children’s safety. Social networking sites are favorites for online predators because personal information is shared with less caution so victims are easier to find. Be careful thinking that online predators go after other people’s children. You just might be the other people and your kids just might be the victims. Parents, let’s turn on our brains, shall we? The kid won’t die if she has to wait to get bombarded with FarmTown requests. I promise.

My oldest child didn’t have sugar until he was a year old. I didn’t want him to have my sweet tooth. That, and the hyper-vigilant-crazy-first-time-parent thing. I was more lax with my younger two children but I still limit sugar considerably compared to most moms. The upside is that I don’t spend a ton on sweets. The downside? My middle child was a candy-sneaker and has three cavities. That begs the question: does forbidding sweets make children want it more? What if I convince them to send it to the Treat Fairy? What if I set a “sweet schedule?” What if I let them control their intake? Would my children really go nuts if I let them have free access to sweets? I’m too scared to experiment, but thankfully, someone else wasn’t.

Annie Sasseville at The Tranquil Parent decided to test just what I’ve been wondering. She began in July 2009 with her own 2.5 year-old daughter. Annie filled a drawer at her daughter’s level with jelly beans, chocolate peanut butter maltballs, generic M&Ms, plain chocolate chips, lollipops and gum drops, then let her daughter Jo have unlimited access to it – even at mealtimes. By September, she had some very enlightening observations to make about make sweets readily available to children – at least to hers, anyway. Here are some interesting things she found:

The novelty wore off in about a week. Jo visited the drawer several times a day at the beginning of the experiment, but by the end, would often go several days without going to it at all. As the experiment concluded, Jo would grab a few chocolate chips and be done for the day.

Requests for “real food” became more frequent. Before the experiment, Jo would really only request snacks and sweets. Since the experiment, things like soup, fish sticks, and grilled cheese have become the requested items.

Milk and water intake stayed the same. Calcium intake was a concern for Annie, but Jo continued to drink just as much milk and water as she had before the experiment began.

Sweets and “real food” became plate-mates. Jo would frequently eat her sweets with her dinner, even though she could have them any time of the day. Annie was fascinated to watch her eat in a sweet – dinner – sweet – dinner pattern.

Annie also discovered that her own sweets intake went down when they became less verboten to the family. Considering her daughter’s response, she decided to keep the sweets drawer.  With the holidays upon us and the abundance of candy available, now’s a great time to try this experiment for yourself and your family. Do your kids integrate the goodies, or gobble them up?

Mama’s Recipe Box is a weekly column in which KidGlue authors give hints on recipes that either your kids will love to eat or kids can help cook. This week, Crystal Arcand makes a two-ingredient cake perfect for fall.

With the craziness of the season, everybody needs some chocolate therapy. I’m a cake girl, myself, and I love pumpkin pie. Imagine my delight when I discovered an easy-peasy chocolate pumpkin cake recipe that requires only two ingredients! Grab an ingredient in each hand and you’ll be on the couch having therapy in less than an hour.

Chocolate Pumpkin Cake (serves about 15 – much fewer if you need some serious chocolate therapy)

non-stick cooking spray

1 box (18.25 oz.) devil’s food cake mix

1 can (15 oz. ) pumpkin

Preheat oven to 350° F while you spray a 9×13-inch baking dish with the non-stick cooking spray.

Combine the cake mix and pumpkin until well combined. It will be very thick.

Spread batter into the dish and level the top.

Bake for 20 minutes, or until toothpick insert in the middle comes out clean.

Cool completely on a wire rack – yeah, right!

Variations:

Mini-muffins – Bake for 15-20 minutes

Muffins – Bake for 15-20 minutes

* Frosting Optional

This is a great fall recipe for potlucks, holiday dinners, or – most importantly – sweets therapy. My advice? Don’t wait for it to cool – you won’t be able to stand smelling it that long. And make sure you have a big glass of milk!

A little bit of embarrassment never hurt anyone, and my guess is that this is not the first line of defense against uncompleted homework. As a parent of a child who faces homework issues, I understand that sometimes it takes more than an ‘F’ to get through to someone who just doesn’t want to do homework and doesn’t realize the importance of grades. Don’t misunderstand me, here. No person should be subjected to frequent or repeated humiliation. But 20 minutes standing by a wall “while behind your back other students play” (in other words, aren’t paying you a lick of notice) is not going to destroy a child’s sense of self or his self-worth.

A kink in the story is that this punishment tactic has not been questioned previously in the district, and was only questioned when the student protested to his mother. This is just another example of parents trying to be their children’s friends instead of their parents. When they can’t control them (i.e.: get them to do their homework), they won’t let anyone else teach their children responsibility, either. I think pulling the child out of school was immature and irresponsible, and overreacting to boot. If we so vigilantly protect our children from embarrassment that they never experience it, we end up with children that have no humility, sympathy, or empathy for their fellow man. And in this situation in particular, a child who clearly received the message that he doesn’t have to do his homework, because Mommy will come to his rescue when he’s punished for it. In fact, I want to know: did Jonathan ever complete his homework assignment?

“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.

I’m one of those “weird” people that doesn’t celebrate Halloween, so I don’t like it being in my children’s schools. Just like I don’t like Christmas and Easter being in the schools. Huh? Yes, I’m a Christian. Yes, I celebrate the birth and resurrection of Christ with my children. At home though, not at school. I don’t want any religiously-originated holidays in schools. I firmly believe that every family has the right to believe and celebrate whatever holidays they choose in the ways they deem are best for them. It is not the right, nor even the privilege, of the public school system to expose children to holidays and to “just be kids at school” – regardless of what their parents believe.

Parental rights and respect for parents are nullified with the approach that “anything is okay, as long as it’s at school.” These subtleties encourage children to be less respectful of their parents and hand more control over citizens to the government. Children are being trained to look to the government for values. When children are taught that the history and origins of holidays don’t matter and that the holiday can be embraced and celebrated despite the parents’ teaching, they are also taught that their parents’ teachings don’t matter and that they can do anything the government sanctions, despite the rights granted to the parents by the Constitution. Look to the Patriot Act to see it already in action.

Over 200 years ago, the United States government was established to create freedom for all citizens to believe, worship and celebrate according to their individual convictions, and to protect citizens from being proselytized in the governed forum. As a government-run system, the public school system is in place for the purpose of academic learning, not spiritual or religious learning. The separation of church and state provides for spiritual and  religious learning in the home, church, or church schools. The public school system should be devoid of any religion, whether Christian, Pagan, Wiccan, Buddhist or Muslim. I am a Christian that believes our Wiccan, Buddhist and Muslim citizens have just as much right to not be exposed to the Nativity as we have the right not to be exposed to Halloween, Buddha or Mohamed.

You also have the Constitutional right to completely disagree with me in the comments – just remain civil and respectful, which is what it’s really all about anyway.

Sure, Halloween is fun what with all the costumes and candy, but where did it come from? Most people think the history of Halloween originated with the Catholic church and the souls of the dearly departed. Actually, Halloween is older than the church, though the dearly departed were always a part of the… ahem, festivities.

About 3,000 years ago, the Celtic people in what is now England, Ireland, and northern France celebrated the passing of the agricultural year, Samhain (Summer’s End), on the last day of October. They believed that the veil between the earthly world and the spiritual world was drawn aside during that night so that spirits – both good and bad – could freely roam between the two dimensions. The Celts believed that loved ones that had passed on could come back to visit their families one last time in the form of a black cat. Costumes were worn to scare away the evil spirits that might attempt to come cause trouble.

When the Catholic church came to the area with the Roman invasion, the priests attempted to integrate the celebratory schedule of the pagans to make them more interested in converting. Naming November 1 as All Hallow’s Day and marking it as a day of praying for the departed, the church was able to “convert” the holiday. Today’s term, Halloween, is a contraction of the name for the night before, All Hallow’s E’en (Even).

It’s certainly not comprehensive, but it should be enough to distract the kids while they get their costumes on or until they get to the first house to shout, “Trick or Treat!” Want more details? Here’s a video from the History Channel that will be a treat.

“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.

I’ve pretty much decided I’m not going to watch any video posted on a social network until November. Why? Video tricks, that’s why. I’ve had enough of reading a description on a video posted by my friends thinking I’m going to laugh only to have the ever-loving hoo-ha scared out of me.

I freely admit that I’m a scaredy-cat. I’ve been to one haunted house in my life because a friend was working there. I promptly tackled him as soon as I got out because I had been terrified. I don’t watch scary movies. I don’t like scary costumes. Me and scary don’t mix. Ergo, I avoid scary anything. So far it has worked out well, since Sir Scary doesn’t really just wander the streets.

That is, he didn’t until social media and “friends” came along. With the advent of video sharing came legs for the knight of fright. Now, he can pop up wherever he’s least expected. The quiet, mild-mannered girl you went to high school with is now the perpetrator of panic. Tonight my husband came running into the living room to see what happened because I screamed.  See, I’m a skeptic and thought, “Okay, I’m going to laugh at people trying to twist weather into ghosts.” Yep. She got me. I thought I was going to laugh. Boy, was I wrong.

“But what does this have to do with parenting?” you ask. I didn’t think it had much to do with parenting, either. Until I went to find an embeddable version of the video below. Oh, I found the video. I also found a ton of “related videos” that people posted. They weren’t of the video itself – they were of the reactions of their families and friends when shown the video.

Mama just got soapy.

Now, granted, I realize these things are all done in fun and no harm is truly meant by sharing the video “treats.” However, I think it might be wise for us to remember an adage I learned from Rolie Polie Olie: “It’s not fun if it’s not fun for everyone.” Most of the related videos were posted by young people who had shown the video to their grandmother, their dad, their aunt – you name the relation, a kid has scared the hoo-ha out of them. The kids think it’s funny. I think it’s disrespectful.

It’s one thing to surprise and scare someone when they’ve chosen it, like going to a haunted house. But to set someone up just to see how scared you can make them so you can laugh at them? That’s no way to be respectful of one’s elders, and it’s no way to be a friend.

Here’s what’s worse: there’s a whole subset of these videos scaring small children! Check out this description:

“This is Maytal’s really really cute sister kylie…. we were soo mean we just scared her! Lolz”

This is just beyond wrong. Am I the only one that wants to apply some serious corporal punishment to these girls? This makes me absolutely livid. There are more of these videos – shot by adults. Unbelievable. Parents, let’s learn some boundaries, respect and thoughtfulness, then teach it to our kids, shall we?

The continuing saga of “Star Wars” has made it easy to plan Star Wars costumes. Gone are the days of Ewok babies and R2-D2 toddlers. Kids can now be Anakin or Padme to their parents’ Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Maul, or Clone Trooper. Of course, if you absolutely must and the child in question isn’t able to walk or argue, you can make an Ewok. Just don’t take pictures if you want your child to choose to talk to you once he or she actually can.

The selection of Harry Potter costumes makes it easy for parents and kids to match costumes. Parents can be Voldemort or Hogwarts faculty members, while kids can be Harry, Hermione, or one of their friends. The possibilities for role-play abound here, too. Don’t forget to have fun with your kids instead of just walking with them while they gather Sugar Loot.

So you want a little lighter fare? How about The Incredibles family costumes? There’s a character for every gender and age of family member! Whether you choose to purchase costumes or personalize red sweat suits, this option allows the whole family to get in on the costume fun. Granted, you will need somewhat young children or fanatic Incredibles fans to pull this off without childhood embarrassment, but the cute factor is ridiculously high with this one.

Whatever you decide on, keep the focus on safe fun and your family is bound to have a great night full of memories.

The producers of the site realized that millions of moms connected with the TODAYshow.com site every day, but weren’t able to connect with each other.  The general manager of TODAYshow.com, Catherine Captain, says that with the new site, “We want to activate that existing universe with a vibrant place to converse and connect.” Moms can create a profile, participate with the blog, upload photos, and vote in interactive polls.

With new mom sites being introduced more and more frequently, TODAYMoms.com will need to offer something above and beyond to stand out from the crowd. They appear to be banking on the loyal following of the show and the show’s resident moms like Meredith Viera, Ann Curry, Natalie Morales and Amy Robach to create the initial draw. Then there’s the exclusive sponsor of the site: Walmart. Stephen Quinn, executive vice president and chief marketing officer for Walmart cites the store’s goal to “know our customers and help them save money and live better” as the impetus behind becoming the exclusive sponsor of TODAYMoms.com.

But – like a mom keeping her kids’ attention – content, ease of use, and innovation will be the keys to keeping today’s moms at TODAYMoms.com.

The fan uses the technology and physics of an airplane wing to propel air at a rate of 15 times that of a traditional fan. Dyson contends that propelling the air over a ramp gives a smoother, less choppy airflow. Users comment that it feels more like sitting next to an open window. Now, lest you think you’ve caught KidGlue in a lie, you will find reports that the Dyson does indeed have blades. Naysayers and hornblowers bellow that the fan has blades hidden in the base. As of yet, there have been no responses from Dyson on whether or not the fan is truly bladeless, or simply doesn’t have visible blades. I highly doubt safety-concerned parents will care. Even if there are blades “hidden” in the base of the fan, my children can’t get their fingers in them, and that’s what counts.

The Dyson Air Multiplier comes in two 10-inch models and a 12-inch model. Priced between $299 and $329, though, this green option is still a little rich for my blood.

Tabloids have long chronicled every move by celebrity moms. There’s even an entire blog devoted to celebrity babies, detailing their high-end diaper bags, pacifiers, and other accoutrement. For the ambitious among us mortal moms, you can even find out where to blow your money on the same baby paraphernalia that the stars have. Most moms I know don’t condone such exorbitant spending, citing it as gaudy, wasteful, and pretentious. What strikes me, though, is that many of those same moms will hand over a large chunk of cash for baby goods and justify the cost because the products are “green.”

Since when does “green” make it more intelligent or fiscally responsible or better parenting to spend a ton of money? In my mind, green living is more than just buying environmentally-friendly or recycled goods. It’s a mindset to reduce, reuse, and recycle – in other words, get the most out of what you have, including your money. Call me colorblind, but I don’t see how spending $35 dollars for a bamboo swaddling blanket that will be used maybe six months is green – all I see is my green money leaving a black hole in my wallet. Even bargain king Amazon doesn’t have a 100% bamboo blanket for under $21.99. What normal parent spends $22 for a baby blanket???

Look, I’m all for going green and being environmentally responsible and reducing carbon footprints. What I’m not for is teaching our children to go broke in the process.

“Crystal’s Soapbox,” published each Thursday, is a column by conservative Texas mom Crystal Arcand who loves to rant about issues that relate to her kids….and yours.

According to Enrique Gonzalez, his seven-year-old son begged for a tattoo to “be like you, Daddy” when he took him along to a friend’s house to get his own tattoo of a paw print on his chest. Why a paw print? It’s the insignia for the notorious Bulldogs gang in Fresno, California. It was originally reported that Enrique held the boy down while Travis Gorman forcibly inked a paw print on his hip. Now a supposed eyewitness is saying that the boy wasn’t held down.  It doesn’t really matter to me whether or not the boy was held down. Here’s the crux of the matter: a man had a tattoo put on his seven-year-old son. Not just any tattoo – a gang tattoo, mind you.

Okay, it’s one thing to have tattoos on Barbies, which I don’t like anyway. But as if that wasn’t enough for parents to battle in today’s society, we now have to worry about parents getting tattoos on their own kids? You know the saying about you have to have a license to hunt and fish but not to have kids? This guy is what perpetuates that saying. I mean, come on. Who “lets” a seven-year-old get a tattoo?

And don’t get me started on the fact that it’s a gang tattoo. Oh, wait, nevermind – Mama’s all riled up now. According to prosecutors, the tattoo is a “recruitment tool that furthers the gang’s criminal enterprise.” Essentially, the kid is now a walking billboard for his father’s gang. And not just any gang. The Bulldogs are notorious around Fresno, with the police there on a constant crackdown of the criminal activities of the gang. This sounds like the plot of a movie. Sadly, it’s not. These are real people in a real gang permanently marking the body of a child. Technically, it constitutes aggravated mayhem, which carries a life sentence.  Instead, a judge on Friday charged them “with willful cruelty to a child with a gang enhancement,” which carries a sentence of approximately seven years and eight months.

How about a charge of “absolutely idiotic parenting” with a sentence of sterilization to help clean up the gene pool?

How can we expect our children to always tell the truth when we don’t even tell the truth all the time? Telling your children lies to get them to behave a certain way is not acceptable to me. Yes, you want Johnny to sit still in his car seat, but telling him the latch release button is actually an eject button? Um, you’re doing it wrong there, buddy. And Mom? You might want to think twice before you tell Suzie that the police will come take her away if she’s too loud in the store. I’m just sayin’…

So what about the mythical holiday hero thing? I’m one of those weird parents that didn’t tell my children that Santa or the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny existed – I told them the truth. I also told them they had the privilege to choose to believe if that’s what they wanted. I can’t describe the special moment and look I share with my children when we talk about Santa – because we’ve chosen the magic and fun of Santa Claus. There’s a twinkle in our eyes and a special bond when we track Santa every year. And lest you pinpoint me as “that horrible person whose kid ruined Henry’s Christmas by telling him the truth about Santa,” I also emphasize to my kids that it is a parent’s right to tell kids the truth, not theirs. Which is really what it all boils down to: it’s your right to lie to your kids if you choose to. Just don’t blame me when Lara doesn’t trust anything you say and is a massive cynic when she becomes a teen.

Image courtesy of jem at Flickr.com

I saw some hand held video games in the store the other day. Nothing new about that. What was new about them were the characters: Thomas the Train and Wow Wow Wubbzy. Yeah, preschool characters. On hand held video games. For children as young as three. Kids three years of age are known as toddlers. These were video games for toddlers. You’ve got to be kidding me. I have a three-year-old daughter. Sure, she’s fascinated by my computer and wants in on the action when she sees her elder brother playing a game on the computer. But do I really want her to actually play the games? Um, hello? Are we seriously asking this question?

You actually expect a child that can barely fasten a button or a snap to exercise the proper hand-eye coordination to control a video game? And not just a joystick, but multiple buttons operated by both hands simultaneously? Surprisingly (to me, anyway), the majority of respondents in a recent MSNBC survey said they were comfortable letting their children as young as two play video games. Sorry. Call me the minority. I think it’s an expensive lesson in how to get your child frustrated. I’m not going to spend ten dollars (or more in some cases) on an electronic device that will do nothing more than frustrate my child and go through batteries like there’s no tomorrow. I’d rather spend my money on a set of cooking toys that I can play with with my child.

Dr. Stanley Greenspan, a child psychiatrist at George Washington University, recommends no more than 30 minutes per day of screen time for children ages two-and-a-half to four. It doesn’t matter if the screen is a television screen, a computer monitor, or a video game screen. A screen is a screen is a screen. And your toddler doesn’t need to be in front of it or holding it.

It’s a tough job, this parenting gig. One of the first big assignments for making those short people decent big people is teaching them manners. Thankfully, there are books for these things. September is National Courtesy Month, so we want to share some of those books with you. Maybe Kanye West should read some of these books, too. Just sayin’…

Whoopi’s Big Book of Manners – Whoopi Goldberg covers courtesy words, cleaning up, covering up (your mouth), knocking, interrupting, and the all-important “When and when not to stick anything up one’s nose!”

Dude, That’s Rude!: (Get Some Manners) – A veritable how-to bible of manners with lessons on how to yawn, burp, meet new people, treat a guest and be a guest.

how to Lose All Your Friends – Reverse psychology at its rude best. Or is that polite best? Whichever it is, Nancy L. Carlson sets forth very important rules that must be followed if one is insistent on losing all one’s friends, beginning with, “Never smile.”

If Everybody Did – What if everybody squeezed the cat? Or made tracks or slammed the door? A precautionary tale with a humorous and slightly off-beat spin that will leave an impression.

The Secret Knowledge of Grown-Ups – A grown-up acts as a counterspy for kids and reveals all about the strange rules of grown-ups. Just why do we have to eat our vegetables? Kids, don’t let your parents catch you reading this top-secret file!

The Grouchy Ladybug – What book list for kids would be complete without Eric Carle? The rude ladybug teaches little kids that we aren’t the center of everything and that saying “please” and “thank you” make us beautiful bugs.

No, David! – Another little-kid classic for a reason. How much of yourself do you see in David’s naked tush cavorting down the street or boot-clad feet jumping on the bed? A rip-roaring good read that lets kids be bad vicariously while being good in reality.

Whether or not you choose to read these books to your kids, please – teach them manners somehow. Thank you very much.

Time magazine reported that Lionel Clark Sternberger invented the cheeseburger when they published his obituary in 1964. According to accounts, he created the concoction at the “hungry age of 16″ (about 1924) in Pasadena, California. Sternberger went on to run a burger joint called The Rite Spot on Route 66 before he died at age 56 of complications following diabetes.

Louisville, Kentucky begs to differ. Louisville claims the cheeseburger was invented on Newburg Road in 1934 when Mr. Kaelin asked his wife Margaret to put a slice of American cheese on his burger. She lovingly obliged and, as they say, a legend was born.

Whenever and however it was created, the cheeseburger quickly became an American favorite. McDonald’s makes a killing on them, even in a bad economy, and it’s a top choice for cookouts. What’s the ultimate sign of the success of the cheeseburger? There’s even been a song written telling the tale of a young man’s vigil at a drive-through waiting for his very own cheeseburger. If that doesn’t prove iconic permanence, I don’t know what does.

Such a simple task is getting harder and harder at mass retailers these days. The racks are stuffed with clothes from people like the Olsen Twins and Hannah Montana and the cast of the High School Musical series. Wait – aren’t these people in their late teens and twenties? Why are they selling clothes to girls half their ages? Why would I want my 7-year-old first-grader to look like a 14-year old freshman? Let’s put it into perspective, shall we? I am 33. It would be ludicrous for people to expect me to dress like my mother or grandmother, who is 75. I don’t dress like women twice my age. I would get strange looks if I did because it wouldn’t look right. And yet, we dress our 7-year-old daughters like young women three times their age and don’t bat an eye. Why is that?

It starts in the department next door – infants. Tell me: why does a baby need a two-piece bikini? She doesn’t. Parents but their babies in tiny, little bikinis that barely cover their little nipples because they think it’s “cute.” Then they just have to have the little halter dress because it’s “adorable.” The tiny mini-skirts? Oh, those are okay – they’ve got built-in shorts, see? As the girls that are not old enough to complain, question, or even walk outgrow the cute and adorable, the parents just continue to the next aisle to buy the tiny little mini-skirt in the next size up – without realizing that the built-in shorts are no longer built-in. Does the halter dress disappear when the need for a bra shows up? Nope – they make convertible bras for our preteens so they can show off their backs, too.

I was confused about the whole 80’s layered look coming back until I really started to look at the girls’ clothing departments. The girls have to layer tee-shirts under the halter dresses because they spend the majority of their time at school, and – lo and behold – the dress code forbids bare backs. That’s still not enough, though. The girls then have to wear jeans or leggings under the same halter dress because it’s too short for school dress codes. Whether the dress is a halter or a spaghetti strap, a-line or babydoll doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t cover our girls enough at the top or bottom to be considered appropriate clothing for school. And we wonder why more and more schools are going to uniforms. Really?

Here’s a clue, parents: when you look with derision and scorn at the likes of the Olsens, Miley Cyrus, and Vanessa Hudgens with their bloopers and “wardrobe malfunctions,” don’t forget to go take the clothes they push out of your daughter’s closet, because as they say, “Clothes make the man [girl].” I’m just sayin’…

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – The one that started it all – in more ways than one. It may be the first Disney animated movie, but this is also where the concept of the evil stepmother began.

Cinderella – The classic stepfamily movie. Disney reinforces the evil stepmother persona and throws in evil siblings, to boot.

Nanny McPhee – The McPhee children balk at the new nanny, but really despise the Mamma-to-be. A tale of children turning the tables on the cruel stepmother before she even joins the family.

Yours, Mine, and Ours – A widow with ten kids and a widower with eight kids get married. Shenanigans ensue. Watch the original or the remake – both are great.

Stepmom – This one is for families with teens. It’s one of the rare movies that deals with the stepparent’s view of the new situation when two families combine. A touching, hopeful portrayal.

Whether you are part of a stepfamily or not, it’s a good idea to watch these movies. We could all learn how to get along better with our families – biological or not.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – The one that started it all – in more ways than one. It may be the first Disney animated movie, but this is also where the concept of the evil stepmother began.

Cinderella – The classic stepfamily movie. Disney reinforces the evil stepmother persona and throws in evil siblings, to boot.

Nanny McPhee – The McPhee children balk at the new nanny, but really despise the Mamma-to-be. A tale of children turning the tables on the cruel stepmother before she even joins the family.

Yours, Mine, and Ours – A widow with ten kids and a widower with eight kids get married. Shenanigans ensue. Watch the original or the remake – both are great.

Stepmom – This one is for families with teens. It’s one of the rare movies that deals with the stepparent’s view of the new situation when two families combine. A touching, hopeful portrayal.

Whether you are part of a stepfamily or not, it’s a good idea to watch these movies. We could all learn how to get along better with our families – biological or not.

September is National Baby Safety Month, so we here at KidGlue want to celebrate by listing the top 10 safety tips to keep our babies safe. After all, we wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for our babies, right? As a mom of three kids, these feel like common sense to me. Except for the fact that some of them were completely foreign concepts when my first child came along. So here’s a gift to you new moms reading and a reminder to those of us who are old hats at the mom game.

1. Keep up with recalls. Register all your children’s products so that you can be notified in case of a recall, and subscribe to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission’s recall RSS feed for children’s products. We also list many of those right here on KidGlue.
2. Get a standard crib. CPSC standards, that is. The easiest way to make sure your crib meets the newest safety standards is to look for JPMA certification.
3. Strap down the furniture. Make sure dressers, bookcases, cabinets, and armoires are tethered to the wall. Anchor straps are easy to find and install and priceless when it comes to your baby’s safety. Zoe will pull up on that drawer sooner than you think.
4. Get a wrap on cords. Gather up window covering cords with a twist tie up out of baby’s reach. Yes, I know the baby isn’t even walking yet, but you’ll be surprised when you turn around and Harry’s holding on to the window sill gnawing on the cord. Bundle up appliance cords, too. Hid them behind furniture if at all possible.
5. Cover the outlets. It’s cute when Laila’s hair is so curly it looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket. It’s horrifying when she actually does stick her finger in the light socket. Outlet covers are another must-have in the home. With their minimal cost, there’s no reason not to have one in every unused outlet.
6. Get down to baby’s level. Crawl around on the floor so you can see what will catch Evie’s attention and end up in her mouth. You’ll be surprised at what you find that you didn’t realize existed down there. Choking hazards are easier to come by than you think.
7. Put up the plants.Yes, that aloe vera plant is wonderful for burns, but not for your little teether’s tummy. Ivy is gorgeous, as are mistletoe, poinsettias, and holly during the holidays, but all of them are toxic. Make sure you know which plants are poisonous, and if you do choose to have them in your home, make sure they are well out of Carter’s reach. Keep an eagle-eye out for fallen leaves, berries, and petals.
8. Watch out for water. That big, round head holding Maisy’s big, round eyes is heavy. In fact, it makes babies top-heavy, which makes it very easy for her to fall down head first. It also makes it harder for her to get herself back upright. Keep the toilet lid down and the door to the bathroom shut. And of course, always keep at least one hand physically on her body while in or near water.
9. Keep cabinets and chemicals baby proof. Yes, it’s adorable to see Levi playing with the pots and pans, but that doesn’t mean every cabinet should be open domain. My mom lost her sister as a baby when she got into the cabinet under the sink and drank drain cleaner. It still happens today. Keep chemicals up out of babies reach and put locks on all cabinets and drawers. If Levi likes to play with the pots and pans, designate one bottom drawer or cabinet that only has baby-safe items.
10. Never underestimate your baby. Just because tiny little Claire barely lifts her legs today doesn’t mean she won’t magically jump off the bed tomorrow. Our son Brandon suddenly could roll both directions when he was determined to get an up-close view of our friends’ cat. Luckily, he was on the floor and we stopped him before he rolled into the sharp corner of the coffee table. Babies develop quickly to boot, but flukes of physical dexterity are not uncommon. Never assume that your baby won’t roll off the bed or pull something down on herself just because she hasn’t done it yet. Babies have a way of learning new tricks in the nanosecond our heads are turned.

Life with a baby is to be enjoyed, so we certainly don’t want to hamper the fun by making you paranoid. Following these tips will get all the terrified-parent stuff out of the way so you and baby can have a blast.

There’s a reason the law says you have to either be an adult or have parental consent to get a tattoo – it’s a life-changing decision that shouldn’t be made lightly. Yet Mattel promotes tattoos to girls as young as five with a doll set complete with tattoos for Barbie and for your child. Oh, and don’t forget the handy-dandy tattoo stamping tool! Your child can tattoo her doll, herself, or her friend quickly, easily, and simply – anywhere on her body. Arm? “Perfect!” exclaims the girl in the commercial. Cheek? No problem at all, from the proud grin of the girl with a tat on her cheekbone. They just wash off when you’re done with them, right?

Yeah, these do. But are you ready to discuss the permanence of a real tattoo with your six- or eight-year-old, or have a ten-year debate about it? How about the ten years of worry about if your child will attempt a tattoo without your permission? Once it’s done, it’s done, and according to patients, tattoo removal is more painful than getting a tattoo in the first place. Of course I realize that my children may one day want a tattoo without ever seeing the Totally Stylin’ Tattoos Barbie. But I also realize I don’t need Barbie’s help to bring up the debate. And my kids don’t need Barbie to “express themselves and be creative.” That’s what paper and crayons are for.

Just another reason this mom isn’t a Barbie girl.

With the MyKey system, parents can control audio volume levels, set speed warning chimes, and insist on safety belts without even being in the car. The ignition of the car reads a transponder chip in the key that then allows the parent to set defaults for the car when started with the teen key, including the Persistent Ford Beltminder™, low-fuel warning, and Park Aid and BLISTM (Blind Spot Information System) with Cross Traffic Alert. The Persistent Ford Beltminder™ mutes the radio and sounds a six-second chime every minute until the safety belt is buckled. The low-fuel warning for teens is set to come on at 75 miles to empty instead of Ford’s standard 50 miles to empty. With the MyKey, the Park Aid and BLISTM (Blind Spot Information System) with Cross Traffic Alert cannot be disabled, ensuring that teens get the most benefit out of Ford’s safety features.

More MyKey programmable features include

• Limited top speed of 80 mph
• Traction control system, that limits tire spin, cannot be deactivated
• Limited audio volume to 44 percent of total volume
• A speed alert chime at 45, 55 or 65 mph

According to a survey, parents would allow their teens more driving time with the MyKey system in place, giving them more driving experience in a slightly more controlled environment. While the MyKey system is currently only available on the 2010 Ford Focus, the company is looking to quickly add it as a standard feature on other Ford, Lincoln and Mercury models as quickly as possible.

Michelle Duggar, who is 42, has been pregnant for 147 months – over 12 years of her life. She and Jim Bob estimate they’ve changed about 9,000 diapers. Jim, who is a former Arkansas state legislator and his wife waited three years to have their first child. After suffering a miscarriage believed to be caused by the birth-control pill, they decided to leave their family planning to God. Many conservative Christians are part of a movement called Quiverfull, upholding the biblical command to be “fruitful and multiply.”

Another noteworthy detail is that this child is due after the birth of their first grandchild. The Duggars’ eldest son Josh and his wife Anna are expecting their first child – and the first to break the J-name tradition – on October 18, while Duggar #19 is due on March 18 of next year. Josh and Anna plan to name their little girl Mackenzie Renee, after a cousin of Josh’s and Anna’s middle name. And just to add to the number 18 madness, Jim Bob’s birthday is July 18.

The Duggar children are homeschooled and use a buddy system, in which the elder children help to care for and raise the younger ones. Violin and piano are also taught to the children, who have an informal “Duggar Family Orchestra” in which the girls also play harp. The Duggars are also well-known because they all have names that start with the letter J. There’s no news yet as to what the newest J name will be, but rest assured, we’ll let you know as soon as we do!